Porn Valley Dispatch

Jesse Jane will be hosting the AVN Awards in Las Vegas on January 7, and has been advised not to let her vegetarian agenda get in the way of the evening's fun. The event has become increasingly politicized over the past few years, culminating in 2005's parade of Tamil Tigers across the Venetian's stage. "We welcome our freedom-fighting brothers," anal queen Bridgette Kerkove said at the time.

None of the preceding, aside from the part about Jesse Jane being the MC, is true. Pay attention for more items of dubious veracity after the leap.- G. Ponante

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You know how Academy orchestra conductor Bill Conti and his awards show counterparts gently strike up the band when the speaker talks too long? That doesn't happen at the AVN Awards; God Bless the house band, but they ain't that good. So Ms. Jane will have her hands full through the presentation of about 100 awards, including "Best Film", "Best Video", and statues for the best release featuring porn's three ethnicities (black, asian, and latin).

The Best New White Starlet winner (kidding again) will preside over the 23rd annual awards presentation, which will cap a week of the combined Adult Entertainment Expo and web-oriented Internext trade shows.

AVN Awards producer Gary Miller allayed fears that Jane might use the evening as a platform for her views on Scientology, the continuing Gaza pullout, and stem cell research within the adult industry.

"She already gets the idea that it's a fun, exciting night," he actually said.

Jane is currently publicizing Adam & Eve and Digital Playground's Pirates, about corporate war profiteering.

See also: Jesse Jane to Host 2006 AVN Awards (AVN.com), How I Saved Digital Playground (gramponante.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archives, DVD: "Pirates", 2005 AVN Awards Fashion Roundup