Porn Valley Dispatch: Halloween Flesh Parade

When did Halloween become so goddamn sexy? When we were tots, the best we could hope for was that someone would be wearing a picture of Wonder Woman to counter our Larry Wilcox. But now every female data programmer, librarian, publicist, massage therapist, and Secretary of State is showing up as the sexy data programmer, librarian, publicist, massage therapist, and Secretary of State (while their boyfriends will continue to miss the boat by dressing as Freddie, Jason, and assorted Reservoir Dogs). Stay tuned for a selection of sexy parties across the country—all this Saturday—after the gap.- G. Ponante

- - -

Hell and High Water: Other than Lowell, MA, nowhere in the United States is more in need of a sexy Halloween than New Orleans. The Whorras of Natural Disaster Parade will snake suggestively through parts of the French Quarter and Marigny, and vaginal-fireball-shooting Otter will reign as Queen Katrina. Hurricane High Water couture is suggested.

- - -

Hollywood's Erotic Museum and club The Day After Night (at the Montmarte Lounge) host dueling parties within staggering, skanking, and ho-strolling distance of one another. The Erotic Museum's event, featuring sexy costumes and celluloid Udo Kiers, promises to be highbrow and well-lit. The Day After Night party, also featuring sexy costumes and porn stars, promises to be Kierless.

- - -

Las Vegas' 10th annual Fetish and Fantasy Ball will be held at the Sports Arena on the city's centenary. One can imagine Sin City's dusty settlers looking a lot like the leather-clad and ravenous revelers who will be showing up Saturday night. Or not. Remember: what happens in Vegas is restrained and gagged in Vegas.

* * * * *

Previously: Halloween, Porn Valley Dispatch Archive