Porn Valley Dispatch: Mika Tan’s Process

I used to think all sex-greased naked women looked the same. So when I realized recently that it was Mika Tan who let me know—three years ago on my first porn set—that one shouldn't eat Mexican food before an anal scene, I was overjoyed at the colonic epiphany.

"But why was there only one set of footprints, Mika Tan?" I asked.

"Because I was carrying you," she replied.

Mind the gap (and the Elmo underpants).- G. Ponante

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"That was you in 'Whoriental Sex Academy 4'?" I asked Mika Tan recently, "Your 'No Burritos before Anal' credo was a solid piece of common sense for me." Our conversation dissolved into giggles and pillowfights as we reminisced about old times.

"I used to be hungry all the time," Tan said, "because you really have to be careful what you eat."

Tan looks very healthy now. I asked what her anal secret was.

"My gay friend said that his people had invented anal sex," she said, "and he told me to take half a glass of mineral water the night before the scene and then, the next morning, I could have a light breakfast to keep my strength up."

I asked what the night before was like, following the mineral water.

"I also use a regular douchebag, which cleans out about two feet of colon," she said.

I reflected that I knew a lot of regular douchebags growing up in Michigan.

Mika Tan (no relation to Amy Tan or the Wu Tang Clan, by the way) will be appearing in Ron Royster's "Atomic Vixens: Escape from the Valley of the Sluts" next year.

· Mika Tan (mikatan.com)
· Eroticist Films (eroticistfilms.com)
· Atomic Vixens Gallery (gramponante.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive, The Eroticist