Porn Valley Dispatch: Working Vacation

Denizens of Porn Valley are taking a deep breath before the big plung this week as company representatives and the stars upon (and up) whose backs the industry's fortunes are made get ready for the AVN Expo, about which Neil Diamond might sing something. Preview all the Vegas fun and learn some valuable coping strategies after the gap. - G. Ponante

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A representative of a hotel I like to call the Fleabaggio (a chain near the corner of the Strip and Sahara that tows hookers' cars from guest parking unless the management is paid ten bucks per visit) told me there wasn't a room left in Las Vegas, but that isn't true. There are rooms all over town at a premium.

Speaking of premium, as Las Vegas is a union town: expect a strong Teamster presence whenever you choose to load or unload your vehicle in the environs of the Sands Convention Center. In addition to paying nearly $1400 for three days of cable modem service to one's booth, a company's board-shorted and goateed warehouse guys can't even stretch their legs to move equipment from the door to their booth space; a Teamster must do it. Union rules. It's a real good idea to bring cash.

Parties this year might be a little less swanky due to some expensive debacles last year. Both Adam & Eve and Playboy are hosting two-hour parties in the early-ish evening, and many other companies are following suit. Expect long lines unless you can disguise yourself as Joanna Angel's accessory dog.

(We bet she doesn't have an accessory dog. But it's still worth a shot.)

If you can't get all the way to Vegas but would still like to stalk see your favorite star, be aware that many L.A. pornistes stop at the Bun Boy in Baker, CA for lunch en route to the proceedings, as good a halfway point as any. "If I go to the airport, it's just an hour flight and I still have to declare my toenail clippers," says one retired former starlet who still shoots occasional Internet content. "So I'm driving."

It will be like the procession of the three kings across the desert, except they will be toting fyrrh-pie.

While a great deal of business is done at the annual convention, your average porn industry worker is far from rich. That is why a quick romp through L.A.'s Craigslist reveals several last-minute esccort ads from putative MILFs who are also, putatively, 29.

Stay tuned for Fleshbot's show reports and more about fans, dreams, hookups, and guys who still think the porn convention is part of the Consumer Electronics Show next week.

· 2006 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (adultentertainmentexpo.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive