Morning Wood

Chocolate cocksuckers; outsourcing cocksuckers; porn's version of iTunes for video; another ode to sexy geeks; the bizarre re-jailing of Christopher Wilson; the ever-incongruous Jessica Alba in a bikini (remix); a crazy-explicit gallery of holiday party ass scans; and erotic Balkans, all after the jump. V. Blue

· We've shared much linklove in the past with NowThatsFuckedUp.com, so we're piqued to find out that webmaster Christopher Wilson was hauled back into jail and held in solitary through the holidays without explanation; now he's out and the site's back up but we're sure this is nowhere near the end of the story... (The Ledger Online)

· Our gadget fetishizing siblings over at Gizmodo apparently weren't just ogling the newest apps; not while they were blogging the debut of the chocolate Clone a Willy Kit. Melts in your mouth, indeed. Someone put me on the beta testing list, please... (Gizmodo, also seen @ sexblo.gs)

· Another AEE debut of note: iPorns, a service modeling itself after iTunes where accounts are created and users can direct purchase porn for their iPods. My life is now complete that I may watch "Cum Fart Cocktails" on my crappy Motorola Rockr, because I'm sure that was its original intended use. (iPorns.com, via Viviane)

· The Canadian National Post reminds us that American border xenophobia isn't just a Republican pet cause, not as long as we seem to be fretting about the perils of porn outsourcing, a nightmare world where McJobs turn into McBlowjobs. But "The Patriotic Erotic Act"? Eh? (National Post)

· As if we needed to tell you, but there are a million reasons to date sexy geeks. In case you haven't yet tasted heaven, HorsePigCow wants you to know what you're missing. (horsepigcow.com, thanks Bunny)

· And while we're on the subject of news... here's Jessica Alba cavorting recently in a bikini. (Egotastic)

· Sure, the holidays are long over, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't stop enjoying any holiday party ass photocopy galleries, especially when Yee Booth of Ass Scannery looks so very much like a typical day at the office for us... (wrybread.com)

· And yet another reason to be in New York; the compelling Balkan Erotic Epic photo show running through January 21. The Balkans look pretty good to us... (skny.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives