Best of Sex Advice

Maybe someday we Americans will learn everything we need to know about sex from open-minded, nurturing parents, or perhaps from in-depth sex education classes offered with unrestricted federal funding in public schools. But until that day arrives, our sexual anxieties, hopes, and dreams as a nation—our fornicative destinies if you will—are placed in the unctuous, caring hands of sex advice columnists, those dubiously credentialed "experts" who for money, titilation, or narcissism spread their gospel of communication skills, water-based lube, and feel-good sexual permissiveness throughout our horny, confused land. Read what some of them have had to say recently after the jump.A. Tolesco

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Sexual Forum, Ask Isadora:
Ever since I was a kid I had a fantasy about being lifted and carried by a female. I have been surfing the web and found several sites that cater to this fetish, however I wasn't able to find our what this need is and why some men feel this way. There is nothing more sexual for them than for a woman to lift and carry them. There are several lift and carry sites, but none have explained the reasoning behind this. Do you have any input on this matter?

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The Eye, Love Bites:
I'm having some trouble finding information about my personal fetish and I was wondering if you could steer me in the right direction. I am a gay man who fantasizes about male barbarians: big, hairy, shaggy-maned medieval and Viking-type men. Think Scorpion King or Conan for an idea of my type. I have had little luck in locating websites, books or magazines that cater to my personal tastes. I realize that not every fetish has a community (the human sexual spectrum is pretty wide, after all) but I was wondering if you had any tips or references to offer.

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Dear Amy, Sex advice for the modern player:
Can I tell my medical physician next week that I kissed my cat 18 years ago, instead rimming on my x-wife
s anus, and ask my doctor to examine the mall light white color flat mark on my tongue?

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Love Talk Forums, Sexual Q&A:
im just worried about going to my mom about getting on birth control b/c shes the kind of mom who thinks that i shouldnt be having sex until after im married!. but my friend's mom has gotten her daughter and like 8 of her friends on perscription birth control and im wondering if i should go to her and ask her if she can do the same thing for me.

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AskHeartBeat.com, Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I am 28 years old. Some time ago, I met a man online and we got along very well on our first date. Two days later, he told that he got in some trouble with the law (self defense) and had to serve 30 days in jail. I introduced him to my mother and told him I would wait for him. Up until this point we had not had sex. He told me that he had 2 crimes on his record
one for selling drugs and the self-defense. I know everyone makes mistakes, and besides that I am in love with him now. My mom doesn't like him because he was drinking before he came to meet her. I also discovered he lied about his age, he has 6 kids when he told me he had none, and his criminal past is extensive, I looked it up! Because he has been in and out of jail for half of his life, he did not complete college. I am a grad student with a pretty good job. When I confronted him with the facts he lied and then over 4 weeks admitted a little at a time...

My family and I are concerned because there are several PFAs on him, but he has always treated me very well. We even called one of the women and asked her about him. She didn't have anything good to say. Plus there is an issue of if he was ever married, which is important to me since we are contemplating marriage.

Right now is in detox then will go to rehab for his drinking because he knows he has a problem. He says he has changed and will continue to work on it. Can I believe him? I mean he's told me enough lies to last a lifetime, but I still love him and want to be with him. Am I crazy? He treats me wonderfully when we are together, waits on me hand and foot, is very affectionate, is great with my child. I don't see anything of this other person I saw on the rap sheet. So...can people change? Under what circumstances? How can I tell the change is sincere?

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SinglesStop.com, Direct Answers:
I met and fell in love with him when I was 14. I am now 24. He is only romantic and sweet when he is in jail. When he is home, he is the exact opposite

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Lovingyou.com, Ask A Female:
I love women, and love being in the presence of many different types of women, and find them generally more interesting than men. But, sometimes, I've known women to stick to a completely irrational idea or opinion regardless of all logic. Is it just a female thing?

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My Sex Life Online, Ask Ginger:
My wife and I have an honest 8 yr. relationship. Lately, a mutual friend explored being with a prostitute for sex and my wife became interested in parts of it. My wife is an active volunteer in the community, and is very giving of her energy. Recently, she brought up the idea of her becoming a prostitute. Initially the idea was raised as a question of whether she could realize the act of sex as an act of service, and related sex to the potential to heal the pain of another. She talked about how exciting she would find it to have someone be aroused by her sexually, and that be the heart of the relationship. She spoke of the potential benefits of being pampered as an escort, and the money that could come from it. Now, I have to admit, before this was brought up I did fantasize about my wife having sex with other people, but was never sure that it would be exciting as a reality. I never want to be restrictive to my wife
s desires in any aspect of her life, but I am a little confused about how to feel about this.

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Em & Lo, 60-Second Advice:
Among the Casual Encounters ads, there are usually one or two ads for something called "blow-and-go," which boils down to a man who likes to give head and will do so without even an introduction. This summer, I answered a couple of these ads, and three times I went to strange apartments and houses, walked inside, got sucked off, and left moments later. My heart was pounding the entire time, and I came harder than I would have thought I could while terrified.

I identify as straight, and I'd be mortified if my friends found out that I've even read these ads. But I like it when someone goes down on me. There came a point when I realized that it didn't matter if it was a man or a woman who did so. I've never been attracted to a man. In fact, two of these men were repulsive: old and overweight, respectively.

I'm scared of STD's. I know it's not safe. I've stayed up nights sweating about the risks involved.

But here's the thing: When I think about it in my own mind, I'm not ashamed. Sure, I don't want my friends to know, but that's only because I'm afraid I'd lose them as friends. Lesbian chic is mainstream
there's nothing hotter than two girls making out. Should I feel bad about getting my rocks off with other guys?

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Nerve.com, Sex Advice from... Temps:
People put too much pressure on themselves. We live in such a results-oriented culture. To quote a motivational poster in our break room, "It's not the destination, it's the ride." Just worry about the ride. Don't worry about whether you're going to end up with spooge on your face at the end.

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