Wet Spots

· To save you valuable time this afternoon, we've combined your regular Jenna Jameson and Jenny McCarthy updates into one easy-to-read tidbit: Jenna can now pole dance on your car antenna; Jenny is now a published author; and despite some bathroom stall kissing they officially did not have sex with each other. Got all that? (avn.com + hollywoodtuna.com + howardstern.com)

· In perhaps the strangest story you'll find on both the sports and porn pages this week, former Major League Baseball player and current Nippon Ham Fighter Tsuyoshi Shinjo will retire at the end of this season when he plans to take up a career in nude modeling. We always thought most athletes just take their balls and go home when they retire; they don't usually photograph them. (mainichi-msn.co.jp, via Deadspin)

· Anyone up for playing a few rounds of "Who's The Hottest Chick on 'Battlestar Galactica'" this weekend? Our pals at CityRag submit this study material from Grace Park's Maxim shoot for your perusal. (cityrag.blogs.com)

· Popular Italian smut director Riccardo Schicchi and porn actress Eva Henger were convicted of running a prostitution racket in Rome after prosecutors argued they smuggled illegal immigrants into Italy for purposes of sex work. No word on whether Schicchi's "Chocolate Bananas" and "Pornopoker II" were used as evidence in the trial. (stuff.co.nz)

· SugarJoy's Bandersnatch seeks out some dating advice from Counter Strike players—with predictably disastrous results. Is it any wonder most of these guys never get laid? They make Lenny and Squiggy look like Clooney and Pitt. (sugarjoy.com)

· Did you know Oregon is one of only two states in the nation without an obscenity law? Did you also know that Portland has more strip clubs per capita than any other city? Well, now you do and you can thank a group of protestors for bringing these facts to our attention. Now if you'll excuse us, we have a plane to catch. (registerguard.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives