Porn Valley Dispatch

As reported previously, "Shout at the Devil" song stylist Vince Neil regularly gets all his rowdy (and increasingly rich) friends together for a golf tournament to honor the memory of his late daughter, Skylar, and to raise money for cancer charities. Today Neil delivered a check for one million dollars with the able assistance of porn stars at every hole. Read more after the gap.
- G. Ponante

- - -

Neil is no longer Too Young to Fall in Love, but I asked him if the way he chose to give money away (e.g. "I think we had a Playmate sit on someone's lap once and he forked over 10 grand") ever raised the hackles of black tie philanthropists.

"I've been to a lot of charity golf tournaments and they're boring," Neil said. "Some of the things that go on here aren't things we really talk about, but we raise a lot of money."

Indeed, I was told that the mainstream company which disburses the funds among cancer research organizations is a little tetchy about the porn connection, so today's event was marketed by less traditional means.

The Lost Canyons Golf Course, located in Simi Valley—the next valley over from our beloved Porn Valley, and right down the street from the Ronald Reagan Library— was sunlit and expensively-snatched-from-the-desert beautiful. Thoughts of "Wouldn't it be charitable to build low-cost housing and schools on this property rather than waste it on golf?" were gradually replaced with "Jessica Drake's skirt keeps coming up."

"We're auctioning off lunch with me and Carmen Hart," Drake said of one of the day's prizes. "I want to go to Weiner Schnitzel, but somebody doesn't want to."

"I'll go anywhere if someone else pays," Hart corrected.

A visitor from Tennessee watched as a flurry of Burbank Hooters girls flocked past. There were also contingents of Hawaiian Tropics and Jagermeister girls dispensing swag at various tees.

"We have Hooters Girls in Nashville, too," the visitor observed. "But they seem to be hungrier here."

There was no real crossover between the players and the talent at the holes. Businessmen snapped pictures of Sunny Lane, Rita Faltoyano, Tiana Lynn, and Lexi Love and giggled nervously. They bid on items like autograpohed pictures of James Gandolfini ($500 at press time) and a Britney Spears "Crossroads in the Big Easy" backstage badge ($100).

Vince Neil, being Vince Neil, is porn-friendly, and the golf course was dotted with the "nice" pornstars who seemed throwbacks to or reminiscent of the 80's glamour porn of Motley Crue's heyday. While it was odd to see this transferred to a golf course, it was nice to see porners over every hill, acting silly for a good cause. I imagine that Skylar would have really enjoyed it.

· The Skylar Neil Memorial Fund (skylarneil.org)
· Skylar Golf Tournament (2005) Photos (Flickr)

* * * * *

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive