Mary Carey On The Campaign Trail

May 17, 2006
JACKSONWEST

In further political (pornlitical?) news this week, the indefatigable Mary Carey kicked off another campaign for Governor of California in San Francisco this week. Running as an independent, she's going to need over 150,000 signatures from registered voters in order to make the ballot—a tall order for any candidate. Like any politician, though, it seems she has another agenda: after all, the whistle stop tour just happens to lend promotional support for her movie "Mary Carey for Governor". "I wear a suit and everything! It's like political porno." We think that's what's called synergy.

Check out more of Mary's platform—including video coverage of her kickoff appearance—after the jump.
- J. West

We asked Mary to explain the issues she's campaigning on:

"Well, the big thing right now is just to bring money into the state of California, because, you know, the deficit's huge. Arnold took a lot of money away from education, so I want to bring money back to that ... I also want to tighten up security on our borders. And legalizing gay marriage, because that's going to bring a lot of money to the state. And I think girl-on-girl is really hot, so, we totally need to legalize gay marriage. I mean, I do a lot of girl-on-girl stuff. Those are my platforms!"

Her enthusiasm for hot girl-on-girl action aside, however, we felt it necessary to compare and contrast some of the virtues of the challenger versus the incumbent, Arnold Schwarzenegger, before we offered our official endorsement:

Candidate	Schwarzenegger	Carey
Skilled orator and rhetorician:	No	No
Willing to prostrate themselves to no end for campaign funds:	Yes	Yes
Experience and interest in arcane policy details:	None	None
Intersection of rabid fans and political base:	Southern Californian frat guys	Southern Californian frat guys
Personal Appearance:	Impressive man boobs, bad teeth	Impressive man-made boobs, good teeth
Example set for the children:	Portrays violent, bloody massacres of dozens on screen	Portrays unprotected, casual sex with dozens on screen
Political affiliation:	Member of allegedly sleazy, morally corrupt party	Guest at allededly sleazy, morally corrupt parties
History of illegal drug abuse:	Yes	Unknown, but not unlikely
Familiarity with Californian political process:	Supported numerous ballot propositions	Regularly propositioned by supporters
Latest film to feature their junk:	Pumping Iron	Mary Carey for Governor

Based on that, there doesn't seem to be much difference between the candidates—except that Mary promises that if elected, California will be more fun, something that it hasn't been during the Schwarzenegger administration. So we're going to have to offer our endorsement to Ms. Carey for California Governor in '06. Good luck on the campaign trail, Mary!

· Mary Carey for Governor (governor.marycarey.com)
· Order: "Mary Carey for Governor" (Adult DVD Empire)

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Previously: Mimi Miyagi for Governor!, Mary Carey, Take Two, Mary Carey in "Pervert!"