Be Your Town’s Porn Czar

I'm just saying that if Mr. Potter had offered George Bailey his own marital aid franchise instead of some crappy job at the bank, well, Zuzu's petals would have taken on a whole new meaning.

Adam & Eve, the country's oldest mail order and Internet dildoteria, is keen on helping you start your town's own tasteful porn store, from providing legal assistance in navigating local zoning laws to coordinating Lube Teamsters with their Lube freighters and Lube hoses.

Maybe I made that last part up, but the company wants you to succeed as your burg's Porn Magnate.

Perhaps Carmen Luvana won't be there to cut the ribbon or play a game of Peg the Tail on the Donkey, but having your own porn store provides so much more street cred than running a Dunkin' Donuts. Then, every time a bell rings, someone walks out with a Total Erection System. - G. Ponante

· Adam & Eve franchises (adameve.com)

Previously: Marital Aid Review: "A Hundred Tongues", Porn Valley Dispatch Archive"