Morning Wood

· Celebrity flesh fans are abuzz with news that Natalie Portman has filmed nude scenes for her next movie, "Goya's Ghosts." OK, so they're torture scenes, which doesn't sound the least bit sexy—but as long as she doesn't chicken out like the last time, we'll take whatever we can get. (cinemablend.com)

· One actress who apparently didn't get naked in her latest film is Zhang Ziyi, since her stand in is trying to take all the credit for her sex scenes. Doesn't she know it's a movie? Stop spoiling the magic. (xinhuanet.com)

· Tristan Taormino looks deep into the world of do-it-yourself sex toys. (She is sort of like the Martha Stewart of anal sex, come to think of it.) At least read it so you don't end up like the "hot dog girl" that everybody talked about in high school. (villagevoice.com)

· This rather creative billboard is giving us the urge to make a "help me find me keys" joke, but we'll resist because we're more mature than that. Besides, we're too busy snickering nervously to comment. (thecoolhunter.net, via Boing Boing)

· The Gawker mothership talks to Isobella Jade, a homeless "body parts model" who allegedly wrote her memoir while standing in high heels at the Apple Store in New York City. Suddenly, our Battlestar Galactica slash fiction doesn't seem so impressive. (Gawker)

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