Best (?) of Sex Advice

A few things we've learned from trawling online sex advice columns over the years: Just because a man wants to do sexual things with another man doesn't necessarily mean he's gay (though it is true that anyone who writes to a sex columnist and asks whether they're gay or says they're not probably is). Also, when a question is asked for one's friend, we all know who it's really for (though we're always stumped as to why people still need to resort to such transparent attempts at transference). And finally, no matter how aberrant and/or deviant your proclivities are—and assuming they're not in violation of any local, state, or federal laws—you're not a freak, you're special. And even if certain segments of society look at you funny, we here at Fleshbot will always love you just the way you are. Just keep sending in those questions so we have something to chuckle over on a regular basis, ok?

- - -

Puckerup.com, Anal Advisor:

I am very into anal play: rimming, butt plugs, and especially anal beads. However, I have some apprehension about penetration with a cock. A friend of mine who indulges in anal sex had told me that it made her ass, well, looser. In other words, it didn't leak, but she found that the initial penetration of various objects became easier after she started doing anal. I am concerned that if I start indulging in penetration with a penis, that it will become noticeably easier to insert other non-human objects. In particular, I'm concerned that my husband will start to notice because I currently have a lover on the side to satisfy my other needs (primarily BDSM). I am worried that if I start to let my lover fuck my ass that my husband (who is way too big for anal penetration) will notice and suspect something is up. What advice would you give me to let me have the cock and not get in trouble?

- - -

BradSawyer.com, Relationship advice for women from a guy's point of view:

"My husband has never cheated on me, at all. but, I saw him looking or at another woman that was indecently dressed a few times in the 20 years we have been married. Our first few years, it didn't bother me. It only happened rarely. But, 4 years ago, we were at a restaurant and a lady waited on us that had a very low neckline and was showing cleavage big time....my husband lingered looking at that part of her body right in front of me. I was hurt. I stayed calm, but said i would not be waited on by someone showing like that and we paid for our pop and left. Ever since then, I have had an obsession about being afraid he will look again. Or that, I will look up and find him looking again. I want to be the only one he sees naked ever, but in this day and time.....it's almost impossible. I know that.

- - -

Time Out NY, Get Naked:

I am engaged to a fantastic woman and we have a great sex life (three to four times a week, both she and I climax multiple times), but I have a tendency to masturbate on days off. I know you have never frowned upon a guy knocking one out, but recently I have been jacking off with other guys in gym steam rooms. More recently, a guy helps me out, and I give him a hand, too. For me it seems kind of cool and takes me back to my college days when I would watch porn with housemates, we would pull our schlongs out and feel no shame in enjoying the movie, giving each other a slap, etc. It never goes any further with these steam-room jocks--just watching each other, or a mutual hand job. Recently, the eucalyptus oil woke me to the possibility that what I was doing is wrong and shameful--am I cheating on my girl? I really don't want anything with these guys apart from some company while I release a load. I really love my girl and hope to marry her someday.

- - -

Go Ask Alice, Ask Alice:

I can totally relate to "Straight man wants penis in mouth." After working with a therapist, we discovered that my desire to do this stemmed not from being a bi or homesexual, but instead from a desire -- or need -- to be "bad" or "naughty" in a secretive way. She is convinced something that happened in my childhood is responsible.

Although this realization hasn't stopped my desire to go down on guys, it has reassured me of my sexual orientation (straight), which I was beginning to question.

- - -

TheStranger.com, Savage Love:

I'm a 25-year-old straight male with a wonderful girlfriend. The other night I made some comment about how lucky I am to get such great head all the time. She responded by telling me that I was lucky, considering I almost never go down on her, and when I do it's not for very long. It was true. I've been an asshole. The next time we got into it I ended up going down on her for a long time and she told me it was the best I'd ever done. Everything's fine, right?

Wrong.

My bottom-row front teeth are just a tiny bit crooked and one of them scraped the shit out of the little flap of skin along the bottom of my tongue while I ate her out. The pain was excruciating. Is this a common problem? Should I just keep doing it to develop a callus beneath my tongue?

- - -
-
JewishWebSight.com, Ask The Experts:

According to halacha, a man is not allowed to kiss his wifes vagina. However can he put a towel or a garment on top the the vagina and kiss it like that?

- - -

Dear Amy, Sex Advice for the Modern Player:

Four years ago, I lived down the hall from a girl who regularly practiced "hands-free masturbation." She had learned to tense just the right muscles in just the right way enough to make herself cum without ever using her hands. She was so smooth, she could even do it in public. Fascinated, I pumped her for instructions, and gave it a try myself.

- - -

AllSexAdvice.com, Expert Advice:

I have never had a woman sit on my face. Not just sit on it, try to sufficate me with her twat. I ask my current GF if she's ever done it and she said with her ex. At first, I thought cool, she has experience! But when she did it, it was sort of a disappointment. Not because of her, she did it really well for a first attempt. How was she supposed to know I wanted her to try to kill me with it?

- - -

Youth Embassy, Ask A Question:

For some reason my friend wants to know if guys can still have sex and how if they have been castrated (to put it simply has no balls)?

- - -

The Sexuality Forum, Ask Isadora:

I am a gay man who has always been extremely turned on by pre-ejaculate, however I have never been able to produce it myself. What are the factors - nutritional, hormonal, etc. - for the production of pre-cum? Is my being a vegetarian a factor? Am I an oddity for having none?

- - -

Scarleteen.com, Skin Deep

I have been going out with a guy for 6 months now and considering sleeping with him. However there is one burning question I have...how do I know...rather how will he know the vaginal opening from the urinary opening. What if he puts himself in the wrong hole?

- - -

AllSexAdvice.com, Expert Advice:

I have never had a woman sit on my face. Not just sit on it, try to sufficate me with her twat. I ask my current GF if she's ever done it and she said with her ex. At first, I thought cool, she has experience! But when she did it, it was sort of a disappointment. Not because of her, she did it really well for a first attempt. How was she supposed to know I wanted her to try to kill me with it?

* * * * *

Previously: Best of Sex Advice Archive