Morning Wood

· Lace and leather are so last year. For the latest and greatest in sexy lingerie, get yourself a crochet thong ... just like Grandma use to make! (consumerist.com)

· Good luck with this excuse after your next extramarital affair: "But baby, I have to cheat on you—I'm like ... a genius." (telegraph.co.uk)

· Cast a spell over your loins with some "adults only" Harry Potter fan fiction. Personally, we liked "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Bone," but the movie was way better. (restrictedsection.org)

· It's been awhile since we've had a good reality show controversy. Tabloid Baby looks into CBS's censorship of "Rock Star" contestant Storm Large and her band, The Balls. With a name like that, why is she wasting her time with Supernova? (tabloidbaby.blogspot.com)

· The federal courts are almost ready to think about maybe ruling on the constitutionality of the Child Online Protection Act, an obscenity law that was passed in 1998, but has never gone into effect. By the time this gets sorted out, the machines will have already taken over. (xbiz.com)

· The head of Morality in Media thinks that fashion mags are the root of all porn. Hey, we know porn, we've worked with porn, and Cosmo ... you're not porn. (Wonkette)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives