DVD Review: “The Visitors”

Of the following people, whom would you most like to see probed by aliens?

Kimberly Kane, Keri Sable, Kirsten Price, Cassie Courtland, Avena Lee, Eva Angelina.

Find out who does what for the sake of interplanetary understanding in our probing review of "The Visitors" after the gap.

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The Visitors

Studio: Wicked Pictures
Director: Michael Raven
Cast: Kimberly Kane, Keri Sable, Kirsten Price, Cassie Courtland, Avena Lee, Eva Angelina

Review by G. Ponante

Wicked's Collector's Edition of Michael Raven's "The Visitors" imagines what would happen to a small desert city - for our purposes, let us call it Desert City - when extraterrestrials come slumming for inter-species breeding stock.

I'll tell you what I wanted: a probing. I got one.

What is refreshing about this movie, and not only because it is different but because I think this is the way it should be, is that each of the required sex scenes (from everyone you'd expect to be in one) comes logically.

An on-the-scene news report of lights in the sky transitions to a dad and his daughter (Kimberly Kane) watching late night TV. Do aliens exist? Kane goes to bed. Meanwhile, younger sister Tonya (Kirsten Price) is getting it on with her boyfriend in the back of his pickup. So far, the only thing that is amiss about this movie is why such great breeding vessels haven't moved to Los Angeles.

The balance to be struck between reviewing a feature porn movie and a non-porn movie is how well the former lives up to its aspirations. With "The Visitors", the aspirations are apparent. Had she been wearing slightly more pants, cover model Keri Sable (now out of the adult biz and back in Buffalo, we hear) could be any hottie appearing on a box set from the SciFi Network. The packaging is perfect; it says the contents aim high.

Then there is the acting. Porn stars are not supposed to be good actors. Cagey directors will, with sleight of hand involving voiceovers, get around non-practical elements of the script. When the performers are not up to the script and the director proceeds without considering the audience, the results are pathetic.

Raven worked around all this by directing the cast like actors. Non-sex scenes lead to thoughts of "I'd sure like to see her naked" rather than "Don't quit your day job".

But back to the movie. Price and her boyfriend finish. They talk afterwards. They get back in the truck and, well, some aliens show up.

Whereas "Pirates"' special effects left one with the impression that there were effects only as far as the money lasted, the effects in "The Visitors" are very pared down. The low-fi approach is necessary for budget purposes but it also forces us to pay attention to the movie more.

That is where "The Visitors" sometimes breaks down. Paying attention to it like one would a mainstream film reveals its limitations. The script, for one, should have been pruned. A campfire conversation among a group of people about to have sex contains conversational nuggets like, "Doctors call it 'lost time'", and "What? And leave the safety of the fire?"

Keri Sable tells the story of lost time. Her boyfriend doesn't believe her, but they fuck anyway. One by one, the campfire friends are picked off as they stray. A bright blue light with eyes in it. Returning to the abandoned fire, Sable informs her boyfriend calmly that "It's the Visitors". (Cue Visitors.)

Meanwwhile, Kimberly Kane's boyfriend ("He's a good man," her father says) comes home from the job early. He is still wearing his hard hat. They have sex before he reveals something strange to her.

The sheriff finds Sable wandering in the dark.

"They came," she said.

"Who came?" he asks.

"The Visitors." (Cue Visitors.)

Turns out the Visitors have their eyes on Kimberly Kane. Of all the people in this movie who should be shown being probed, Wicked chose the right one. I won't tell you how the movie ends, but I will say it doesn't make sense.

Regardless, "The Visitors" is an ambitious movie and an often scary and sexy one. Especially with the probing.

· Preorder: "The Visitors" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Wicked Pictures