DVD Review: “The Search for Adam & Eve”

"You're not The Man because you couldn't get your dick hard," spat Carmen Luvana, both in context and verbatim, several times during Adam & Eve's porn star recruitment effort "The Search for Adam & Eve". The contest, which took place throughout several cities last year and culminated in a fuck-off in Jamaica, is very entertaining television even if the winners do not become adult megastars.

One thing that is interesting about this pay-per-view-show-to-DVD is not the number of amateur ladies with coccygeal tattoos and husbands who like to watch. Instead, it is the number of guys who appear horrified that they would be asked to get an erection on camera. At a time when everyone wants to be on TV, the surprising thing is encountering the people who don't.

Read the rest of our review after the jump.

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"The Search for Adam & Eve"

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Toni English
Cast: Carmen Luvana, Austyn Moore, dozens of contestants

Review by G. Ponante

Carmen Luvana hosted this search in Tampa, Miami, New York, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. In each city she was joined by local judges who chimed in with questions like, "Have you ever had sex in front of other people?" etc. But it was Luvana who got to the meat of the issue each time. Of one man she asked, "Could you take a strap-on up the ass from me?" ("Depends on the day," he replied, never to be seen again). Of another, she said, "I like your body but your dick ain't hard. That's a problem."

The women fared much better, and appeared ready for anything. It would lead the casual observer to believe that America's women are horny as hell, and that finding a man who can perform is much more difficult.

None of the women appeared to be virginal girl-next-door types. Some were strippers, others were swingers. Each, aside from the woman who admitted she probably wouldn't want Lexington Steele in her ass, claimed that she would do "anything" in the bedroom.

But the presence of a camera continued to be a foil for the male contestants.

"Am I not hot enough for you?" asked an incredulous Luvana after yet another guy failed to get hard and almost ran away from her. She even spoke Spanish to him and yet, nothing.

Occasionally it became clear that even if a woman could have sex on camera it didn't mean that she should. The dead eyes and flat affect of Britney, a Las Vegas escort who claimed Jenna Jameson as a role model, underlined the difference between hookers and porn stars. Some can travel effortlessly between the two worlds, others can't hide the mercenary element.

Once the finalists arrived at Hedonism III in Jamaica, director English gave them tips such as, "It's not about your pleasure; it's about the audience" and revealed that 70 percent of men in the adult industry take Viagra (I was not aware of this survey) so directors will understand when a man asks for 30 minutes of lead time to a scene.

The finalists, among them pink-haired "sexual superheroes" Tassy and Halcyon (sadly, no longer a couple) are put through several paces while judges comment from a sidebar. They see what it is like to have sex under porn conditions, and many do not rise to the challenge.

Many truths are revealed in this two-disc DVD, but one says it all:

"If you could walk in here with all this crap happening around you," English remarked to one wood-challenged contestant, "and STILL get an erection, you'd have to be sociopathic."

· Order: "The Search for Adam & Eve" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· "The Search for Adam & Eve" (searchforadamandeve.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive