Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Phallix G-Spot Wonder

As I've started to make my way through the wonderful (though sometimes scary) world of marital aids of the dildo persuasion, sometimes I wonder, "Seriously, how many different kinds of long hard things to put in pussies and asses can there possibly BE in the world?" The answer is: lots. Probably too many, considering that in general their functionality is limited to the old in-out. Long hard things have a standard they need to meet: they should be long and hard and of proportions approximating that of a human penis (or the penis of a porn star, whose species is machinus fuckus). And, god bless human ingenuity, there are enough variations that sex toy companies can goad consumers into buying a bunch of different kinds ...

In the last few years, glass toys have become all the rage, perhaps partly because other than the general shape, there isn't much about the toys that approximates the human penis, which as far as I know, is not translucent. Phallix's G-Spot Wonder has that patented g-spot curve to it, plus a few strategically placed bumps on the business side of the toy. Though I'm a confirmed fan of glass (I like it hard!), I was a little skeptical of the bumps, which seemed like they could either be terrible or awesome. Turns out they are awesome. Besides being hard, glass is awesome because is gets super slick with lube and, uh, other things - and it looks really cool the way the juices kind of bead on the toy. If you're into juices, that is. Discriminating orifices deserve their long hard things to be made of glass.

One of the big concerns people express about glass toys is: what if they break? Well, after I unintentionally dropped the g-spot wonder on the floor because my hands were a little too slippery with lube, I can tell you that these things are pretty hardy. I wouldn't drop one out my second story window onto the sidewalk to see how it fares, but you probably aren't going to have a problem with breakage, unless you're really adventurous. Actually, if you are adventurous enough that breakage could be a problem, I would like to see that, so give me a call.
- AR

· Phallix G-Spot Wonder (erosboutique.org)
· Phallix (phallixglass.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive