Morning Wood

· Gossip rags are reporting that Dustin "I used to be Screech and I have a 10-inch cock" Diamond has his own sex tape, where he performs the mythical "Dirty Sanchez." We don't think there has ever been a rumor that we didn't want to be true more than this one. (nydailynews.com)

· Just so you know, Kate Beckinsale really likes her husband. We really like her too, but she didn't marry us. (wwtdd.com)

· Would you use a condom that plays music during sex? Does it know any Barry White? (bangkokpost.com)

· "Girls Gone Wild" kingpin Joe Francis cops a plea on his 2257 case and will pay $500,000 out of his own pocket to stay out of jail. You may now show us your (18-year-old and over only!) boobs again. (eonline.com)

· Remember that poor bastard whose bad implant gave him a 10-year erection? Now, a judge say he can't have the money he won in his lawsuit. Come on ... give the guy some satisfaction already. (msnbc.msn.com)

· Britain opens up hundreds of years of archives to reveal the history of sex throughout the nation. The short version: they like to get freaky. (reuters.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives