Morning Wood

· Two judges, their cleaning woman, a sex tape and some blackmail. That's not even our favorite part of the story. It's the description of the woman at the center of it all as "real chili hot stuff." Now that's entertaining. (telegraph.co.uk)

· We really admire "Dancing With The Stars" Monique Coleman's fancy footwork—it can't be easy remembering your dance steps when your skirt is slipping off on national television. (taxidrivermovie.com)

· You'll be amazed what you can see on Google Earth ... like maybe yourself, enjoying a nude suntan. By the way, we're never leaving the house again. (video in Dutch, but you'll get the idea @ rtl.nl, via mafiablog.net)

· Thinking of buying a new iPod for that special someone on your gift list this holiday season? Just make sure you don't try to engrave it with the name of any "sin brands". Apple doesn't play that way, yo. (pornzio.com)

· The Army is investigating to see if women from the Kentucky National Guard posed nude (with their rifles, of course.) We thought you told them to "be all you can be." (courier-journal.com)

· The reason attractive people are attractive is because looking at them is easier on your brain. They can be a lot harder on some of your other body parts though. (reuters.com)

· Mary Carey continues to live the dream of becoming Madam Governor. Forgive us for not buying our tickets to victory ball just yet. (10news.com)

· Some pretty clever robbers use a sex shop's own handcuffs against the staff. Too bad the shop's security cameras will soon be used against the robbers. (ledger-enquirer.com + 11alive.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives