Marital Aid Test Kitchen: 7 Function Wireless Remote Egg

I am sad to report that of the seven functions of the remote egg, making me dinner or getting a job to support me are not among them. In fact, all seven functions are aimed only at female orgasm. Which, all things considered, is a good thing. (But that plus a nice shrimp scampi would be even better.)

Read more about this week's new appliance in the Marital Aid Test Kitchen after the jump.

- - -

The idea of this toy is a perfectly good one, though there are a few things about its execution that make me scratch my head, and not in that diddling my skittle way. The toy has two parts - the remote control and the vibrating egg. I didn't really get to test the remote for distance (I live in a New York apartment, what do you want from me?), but it at least works from a few rooms away. And it can be attached to a key chain, which seems less a practicality and more a conversation piece: "Dude, what's that purple thing on your key chain?" "Oh, it1s the remote to my ladyfriend's vibrator." Right.

The real delight of remote control toys is the lure of playing with it in public, but the vibe for this toy is damn big for a bullet vibe, so it you're planning on tucking it into your panties and wearing it around, prepare to look like you've got a wee buzzing boner (not recommended for air travel). It is, however, waterproofed - so if you want to er, muffle the sound a bit, you can wear inside your bagina. Its even got a creepy tamponesque string on it for easy removal!

Wherever you decide to put it, the seven functions (remember, the ones that don't make dinner) are pretty goddamn good. But don't get too attached, because this bugger requires variety of not-readily-available batteries that come with it. Once spent, may may find yourself sobbing at your local drugstore.
- AR

7 Function Wireless Remote Egg ($100 @ Eros Boutique)

* * * * *

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive