Popshots of the Week!

Meet Casey Parker. Shane's World's newly-minted contract performer hails from Colorado, enjoys traveling to San Diego where she wakeboards in a thong, and looks this wholesome all the time. "I wouldn't have sex in my personal life that I wouldn't have on camera," she says, and vice versa. Though she imbibes a beer here and there, Ms. Parker is otherwise substance free. Oh wait: she smokes. But she's a good person. She is America's Sweetheart-apparent.

Our camera bumped into Parker about a thousand times this week, but stay tuned for more Popshots (in which we present pornstars not as we like them to be but how they are) after the jump.
- GP

- - -

The elusive porn star Stephanie Swift surfaced at Porn Star Karaoke this week and sang Stevie Nicks' "Dreams". If players only love you when they're playing, that explains all the restraining orders against me. I want to believe so much.

- - -

The industry party against which all others will be measured happened at the home of Eddie Van Halen last week. EVH wrote two songs for porn auteur and gritty Dogme 95 devotee (we're kidding) Michael Ninn's "Sacred Sin". Did Harold Faltermeyer throw the party for "Beverly Hills Cop 2"? No. So that's how classy Mr. Van Halen is. Here he is with our pal Casey Parker.

- - -

Finally, what is any Porn Valley (EVH lives on the seedy side of the hill) function without a dangling tasty aerialist?

· Open bar at the Van Halen place (gramponante.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Popshots Archive, Porn Valley Dispatch Archive