Best of Sex Advice

All of us in the office got really bummed recently when our thoughts turned, as they sometimes do, to all of the awesome sex advice columns out there in other languages. Like, in France: can you even imagine? And how about Japan? Uganda? Think of all the WTF-ness we miss out on everyday, all the subtle misconceptions of sex that could only arise from a specific cultural context and upbringing that us American city folk could scarcely imagine. Wow. Luckily for us, the English speaking world does ok for itself. Even if we are just a small fraction of the rest of the world, they'll never be any shortage of people being stupid and weird about sex here.

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Sex Project.com, Alternative Sexuality:

What does someone mean when they describe themselves as like an energy vampire? When they claim they feel they get energy from their sexual partner when that partner comes and that they return it when they come themselves? BTW, this may be related specifically to oral sex - or not, I'm not sure.

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LPSG.org, Relationships:

I just got an invitation to a wedding and I am not sure what to expect. I live in Canada and the two people getting married are women that I've known in the past. I was having sex with one of the women and it was she that introduced me to her friend. This was about five years ago and at the time I took it to mean "friend" not partner. We had several "one on one"s and a couple of threesomes and it was pretty clear they were bisexual.
With this wedding and therefore commitment to each other, it seems they decided to go without men in their lives or am I misreading this totally.

They are both in their early 40's though they could easily pass for mid 30's. Can I possibly expect a bit of a return to the "good old days"? I plan to attend and can certainly handle whatever is going to happen, its just that this is definitely new territory for me.

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JewishWebsight.com, Kosher Sex:

What are the proper positions for having relations with your wife, also i heard that one is suuppose to hold her ankle aand put his hand on her ear or something?

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Student.com, Teen Sexuality:

i have a rather interesting problem......i am pregnant(found out a month ago). the problem lies in the fact that i do not remember having sex around the time i got pregnant......

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The Stranger, Savage Love:

I had a bland childhood. Mom and pop were hetero, something I inherited. I'm the very portrait of an average American woman, a vanilla kind of girl. Except for one thing: When I was in my early teens I had dreams about being bigger and stronger than my sexual partners. Fast-forward to now, I'm obsessed with this "huge" fetish. I dream about towering over my sex partners. I masturbate about it. I've searched online and found to my surprise that I am not the only one. I even found a magazine, Giantess, that was exactly what I have been fantasizing about. Unfortunately it's no longer in print.

How the hell can I experience my fantasy when it is physically impossible? And how do you explain to a guy that you want him to be the size of a Ken doll so that you can have your way with him?

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Xandria.com, Sexuality Questions:

I really enjoy having butt plugs in my ass. However, once my ass gets used to the butt plug being in place, the plug tends to slide out. This is not a problem when I'm in bed or with a friend, because it easily slides back in. My problem occurs when I go out. I have had the embarrassing experience of having the plug slide out into my shorts, creating a visible bulge in the seat of my shorts. Fortunately, no one saw the bulge, but I had to find a restroom very quickly to get it back in place, and then had to walk around voluntarily contracting my sphincter muscles.

Does Xandria carry any products, like a strap or harness, that I could use to keep the plug in place? It would have to be something that would not "show" through my clothes.

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IsItNormal.com, Sex:

i did this girl last night (she is a hot mom of 2 children). What was weird is that they were crying in the other room as i was shaggin her and also her pussy was like stretched as wide as the grand canyon. it felt like i was f**king a baseball mit. is this normal?

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TheSite.org, Ask The Site:

Someone told me that if I sleep with more than 25 people my vagina will get big and saggy, is this true?

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TeenGrowth.Com, Q&A:

I read on another Web site that when you over-masturbate your penis gets "tired." It can cause losing a couple inches off your penis when you get an erection as well as less ejaculation and a more difficult time getting an erection. What do you think of it?

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Eye.net, Love Bites:

I have a very big penis but very small testicles. I would like to enlarge the size of my balls, perhaps with some sort of silicone implants, similar to what women use to enlarge their breasts. Could it be done? What does your expert Dr. Stubbs have to say with regard to this? I like to show off my bulge while in my swimwear and also in my jeans. My cock shrinks a lot when not hard, so it doesn't show very much while I'm wearing clothes. Hopefully, if I get some kind of implant, it will improve the size of my bulge. Any ideas how to improve my bulge image?

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NetDoctor.co.uk, Female Sex Problems:

I am a light smoker, and because of this my wife is reluctant to allow me to give her oral sex.

Her fears lie in my smoking and the obvious vaginal contact.

Is there any medical basis supporting her anxiety?

My wife and I have been together for 18 years and I would like to spice things up. But I don't want to freak my wife out if I do and would like other women's, especially married women's, opinions

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FemaleFirst.co.uk, Sex Advice:

Here is my idea for a fantasy:

Check into a nice hotel somewhere with my wife, then after some foreplay, tie her face down across a table, wrists tied to the table legs, so she is laying across the table naked and blindfolded. Her legs would be spread because they are tied to the other table legs, leaving her pussy open to whatever happens.

As soon as I have her tied up, the phone would ring; it would be the hotel desk and I would have to go downstairs for a few minutes. Maybe the hotel would have some problem with my visa or something, and I would have to make an excuse to leave. Of course I would tell her I would be right back and would just leave her tied to the table for a few minutes while I'm gone. She would protest, of course, but I would leave.

A couple of minutes later, the door would open and she would think I had returned. But this is where the plot thickens. "Oh!" is what she would hear a male voice say in surprise. She would think, of course, that it was someone else, maybe a maintenance guy or someone working for the hotel or another hotel guest with the wrong room. She would just know a guy was in the room with her and it wasn't me.

The voice she would hear would really be a tape recording of a guy saying "Oh!" She would then feel hands on her ass, then she would feel her tits get fondled and her nipples get squeezed ...She would next feel a dick enter her pussy....When he came, he would quickly zip up and leave the room.

I would return shortly afterwards. Now, what should I do then, if you think this is a good fantasy idea up to now. Either way, part of the plan is to use some recorded porn where some guy moans and groans as he fucks someone. Easy to do, just record it from some internet porn video.

My concern is that she doesn't freak out, thinking she is being raped. I don't want her to freak out, just be very surprised in an enjoyable way. Of course, it would forever be "her little secret." All of this would be. But it would be a fun thing for her, maybe, and what's the harm in pulling of a fantasy for her? Also, if you like this idea, should I tell her afterwards that it was a fantasy or not? I am just really concerned that she might freak out. We are not swinger types and don't fool around with others, ever. Maybe this isn't a good idea, but what would you think, if this happened to you?