DVDs: “Almost Jailbait 5” & “Her 1st Monster Dick”

More than anything, I'm glad that American porn consumers have avoided jail a fifth time. But when will "almost" be "too close"? A brief Fleshbot poll set the following parameters:

· "Grass on the field, dude."
· ""Must have been conceived between 'Father Figure' and 'Mediate'."
· ""Thinks 30-year-old guys are old rather than exotic."

"Almost Jailbait 5" stars Micah Moore, who doesn't look like she'd last a night in County.

· Lethal Hardcore (lethalhardcore.com)
· Buy "Almost Jailbait 5" (gamelink.com)

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While "Almost Jailbait 5" may not capture the attitude and smell of prison, Mayhem's "Her 1st Monster Dick" cover does an excellent job of conveying Holly Wellin's shock at having her right breast pointed at so frankly by Sledge Hammer's sub-equatorial index.

That Wellin seems to be squatting at the foot of the beige carpeted stairs of a nursing home is reason enough to believe that our nation's elderly can pencil in "monster dick" next to "kids on my lawn" on a list of the indignities of aging. - GP

· Sin City (sincity.com)
· Buy "Her 1st Monster Dick" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive