Fleshbot’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide

December 11, 2006
JONNO

Sexy gift guides are as much a feature of the seasonal landscape every year as awkward drunken passes at office holiday parties and naked chicks in Santa hats—but instead of making your shopping more efficient, their sheer profusion means you're likely to spend more time picking out the right guide to consult than your presents themselves. So rather than come up with our own list of suggestions for holiday giving this season (most of which you can check out in our archives anyway), we thought we'd be even more helpful and present you with an annotated list of some of the more notable sexy gift guides out there. If you give up and end up wrapping up one of those packaged cheese and sausage boxes for Aunt Eunice again this year, you'll have only yourself to blame.

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Fleshbot's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide

· Top 10 Luxury Sex Toy Christmas Gifts for the Holidays (about.com)

Pro: Rightfully pegs The Cone as "this year's Christmas sex toy 'it' gift."
Con: Drab About.com layout has all the luxuriously sexy consumer appeal of a medical supply parts catalogue—without the pictures.

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· Eros Zine Holiday Gift Guide (eros-zine.com)

Pro: Lots of interesting items you won't see on everyone else's list—i.e., not an OhMiBod or Je Joue in sight!
Con: We're already bummed enough as it is that Santa still hasn't bought us that collection of miniature Japanese bondage sculptures like we've been asking for all these years.

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· Babeland's Gift Guide by Price: The Perfect Toy for Any Budget (babeland.com)

Pro: Helpfully presents gift suggestions by price, making it easy to shop for both Secret Santas with low spending caps and cheapskates alike.
Con: $14 is still a lot to spend on Chocolate Body Sauce when a bottle of Bosco does the job just as well for under five bucks.

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· 1TrackMind's: Top 10 Holiday Sex Gifts (video @ blip.tv)

Pros: Cohostess Danielle Stewart is sorta cute; lack of compelling video content means you can play this in the background and listen while doing the rest of your holiday shopping elsewhere online.
Cons: No links to buying options; items selected more for dubious humor appeal instead of actual gift giving. (Your mom probably received that candy g-string at her office bachelorette party years ago anyway.)

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· Violet Blue's Sexy Holiday Shopping Guide (sfgate.com)

Pro: The inimitable Violet Blue is considerate enough to remind us that menorahs make less than ideal insertable objects. (Wish we'd read that last year.)
Con: San Francisco-centrist focus means that if you think a pair of "lift and separate" men's underwear would make the perfect present for a sagging friend this season, they'll end up costing you 20 dollars or so plus roundtrip airfare to Castro Street to pick them up.

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· Tristan Taormino's Sexy Gift Guide and Rachel Kramer Bussel's Sexy Gift Guide (villagevoice.com)

Pro: Two sex columnists at the Village Voice means twice the sexy holiday shopping fun.
Con: Two sex columnists at the Village Voice means twice as many lists to peruse, twice as many links to click on, and twice as much confusion trying to decide what to buy for whom (and who recommended it to begin with.) Weren't guides like these supposed to make life easier?

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