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FHM: The Long Goodbye

PORNSTARS

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It is with great shock and sadness that we pass on the following tragic news bulletin from our media-sniffing colleagues at Gawker: FHM is no more. Yes, the US version of this monthly bikini chronicle will cease publication with the March issue. How will life go on without their constant diet of hot babes and celebrities posing in lingerie? We are currently in the "Bargaining" round of the five stages of grief (having quickly breezed through "Denial" and "Anger", we're ready to negotiate with anyone), so while we wait for you to catch up we offer this loving retrospective of the magazine's time here on Fleshbot. If anyone from FHM is reading this, just look the other way—we don't want you to see us cry.

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· November 26, 2003
It wasn't long after our debut that FHM got its first mention here on Fleshbot. It seems fitting that it was for a photo shoot of Vida Guerra, since it's the discovery (and regular promotion) of pseudo-celebrities like her that were the magazine's bread and butter.

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· April 8, 2004 and April 12, 2004
Reality television stars provide FHM with a steady stream of babealicious content, and the women from the first season of "The Apprentice" were no exception. Even The Donald himself would heartily approve.

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· May 12, 2004
Professional babe Brooke Burke has made so many appearances in their pages—and always expertly tanned and bouncy—that she became FHM's unofficial mascot.

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· August 9, 2004
The Summer Olympics in Athens brought glory and gold to our nation's athletes ... and tight, hardbodied athletes to our attention. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

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· September 14, 2004
Alyssa Milano. 'Nuff said.

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· October 11, 2004
FHM understood its audience—horny young dudes playing video games in their parents' basements—and was never afraid to cater to their tastes with profiles of geeky goddesses like Morgan Webb. At least FHM's demise can't be blamed on violating the cardinal rule of magazine publishing: Always give the people what they want.

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· December 7, 2004
On a date that will live in infamy, Jenna Jameson uses all her mainstream appeal to finally make the magazine safe for actual pornstars, instead of girls who just dress like one.

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· June 2, 2006
Tera Patrick does Jenna one better and becomes the first pornstar to grace the cover of FHM. Her boobs almost spill over to the next month.

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· November 17, 2006
In what should have been a warning sign, FHM's unveils its World Cup themed-extravaganza four months after the championship soccer tourney ends. Why didn't we hear this cry for help?

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· December 13, 2006
An NFL cheerleader becomes a haunting reminder of all that we've lost. We will never forgive the Miami Dolphins.

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Our only solace is that the original UK version is still going strong and will continue to send us gorgeous ladies from around the world. Still, it just won't be the same without you guys. Looks like it's time for Stage Four: Depression.

· FHM Bottoms Out (radaronline.com, via Gawker)

Previously: · Fleshbot's FHM coverage


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