Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Sinnflut

AR - I'm never one to pass up a good pun, even if sex toy manufacturers sometimes get a bit bludgeon-like with their pun-wielding. But I hard a hearty chuckle when I cracked open the latest mystery box arriving in the mail to discover the Sinnflut. Like all of the German-made Toy Factory toys, there isn't anything scary about the packaging : it's playful and cute and made me feel worldly because there are four different languages telling you what's inside. But ultimately. packaging schmackaging. It's the cock that counts.

I'm a big fan of sex toys that plug into the wall because that usually means they are strong like bull, and the Sinnflut has the plug-in advantage without the awkwardness of masturbating with a cord between your legs: it's chargeable, so you plug it into its base and then it's ready to roll (er, buzz). The base of the toy itself has a durable on button and a joystick nubbin that adjusts the speed and rhythm of the toy's vibrations—which is a lovely feature.

A lot of sex toys today with their audio features and programmable vibrations and whatnot (you know who you are) are cool little pieces of technology, but as far as I'm concerned, when it comes down to it nothing beats a basic old dick that buzzes. And The Sinnflut has managed to improve on that classic combination, which is almost more than anyone could ask for. I mean, I could ask it to organize my closet, too. But it won't. It will, however, do its vibrating job well enough that I won't even mind the mess.

· Sinnflt Rechargeable Vibrators (erosboutique.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive