Sex Blog Roundup: Popping The Cork

Twice a week, we round up the best sex writing on the interwebs based on what captures the fancy of our crack team of sex blog wranglers; today, however, we present the best of the best of sex blogs, as Dirtyspoke announces the winners of its first Sex Blog Awards chosen by the readers themselves. We're delighted to see our very own Chelsea Girl walk away with the virtual trophy for Best Female Sex Blog along with Figleaf's Real Adult Sex in the male category. Those who enjoy a crowd can join the fray at Viviane's Sex Carnival, winner of Best Group Sex Blog—and in an impressive, er, double header, Ilyana Lanai wins Best Sex Blog and Sexiest Sex Blogger.

Pop a cork and raise a toast with our favorite runner-up Jefferson after the jump.

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Sex Blog Roundup: Dirtyspoke Sex Blog Award Winners
by Jefferson

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Snatch, Hooch, Na Na, The Pink Taco ...

It all started with "Gia."

You know, Angelina Jolie when she was still relatively unknown, sexually ambiguous and raw. Every girl, gay or straight, was hot for Gia. Which then gave way to my infamous "I could be a lesbian" phase, during which I decided that Angelina or Jenna Jameson for that matter, could turn me out, and I didn't need to date men. Or sleep with them. Or really think about them at all. Because when you live in a full service building and have a doorman, maintenance man and delivery boy all at your beck and call, you don't really need your own man for much of anything. So lesbian I would be. After all, what are your twenties about if not tasting different ice creams.

- Ilyana Lanai

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"slave to the rhythm: or, how Kanye West made me come"

I'm so animal-angry I could spit. I'm a cobra, a camel, a wild and uncharted venomous thing found in jungles and avoided by the people who live there and know better. I'm vibrating with anger. I'm a high-C note. I'm repressing and I'm stuffing and I'm barely containing, I'm six pounds of wrath in a five pound bag, and I'm riding my boyfriend's cock.

Music plays in the background. Kanye West is grunting.

- Pretty Dumb Things

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The Limitations of Being Not Safe For Work

And if you're trying to read this from work, then you probably can't because if the URL didn't block it the photos just above probably did. Which means you're not going to find out that I think it would be cool to be sitting together, naked, you on my lap with your back to me, so you could look down where my cock was standing proudly between your legs and against your belly so it seemed as if it were *your* cock, and so you could reach down and feel its length rising from your own groin, and when you reached lower you'd find languid testicles lolling in loose skin instead of your own familiar folds. And when you grew impatient with it outside you, as I kissed and bit your neck and shoulders, as I supported and rolled your breasts against my palm, you could palm my length, rise and slip forward just a bit, and guide me into you, rocking your hips back or forth against me to press me against your mons from the inside before leaning back against my chest, your toes and mine just touching the floor, rocking and gimballing the chair like there was no tomorrow.

Oh well.

- Figleaf's Real Adult Sex

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Collar and Whip Therapy "Ethical"

A Perth psychologist says forcing a patient to wear a dog collar and call him master is well within his profession's ethical guidelines.

Bruce Alistair Beaton, 64, of Fremantle, was giving evidence at his Western Australia District Court trial for indecently assaulting the 22-year-old woman between January and March 2005.

He has pleaded not guilty to four counts of indecent assault and one of aggravated sexual penetration.

Mr Beaton was arrested when police burst into his office in March 2005, after hearing whipping sounds while they secretly video recorded one of his treatment sessions with the now 24-year-old woman.

Mr Beaton told the court he had resorted to drastic treatment with his vulnerable, bulimic patient because gentle methods were not working because she was involved in violent relationships.

- Viviane's Sex Carnival

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See also: Dirtyspoke Sex Blog Awards - The Winners! (dirtyspoke.com)

Thumbnail: the non-sex blogging (but still festive) Lucy Summers (TGP/preview gallery @ nudeporngalleries.com, via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive