(The Return Of) Best of Sex Advice

Back by popular demand (you know who you are), it's the Return of Best of Sex Advice! See, we took some time off recently so we that we could test out all the wonderful tips and tricks that we've collected over the last year or so, and well ... we're just as fucked up as ever. So we're jumping back into the pool to see any of those "experts" out there can finally set us straight. This week we learn about the dangers of vaginal cannonballs, accidental farting, boring cunnilingus, how to lose your virginity, and how to take it away from someone else. Maybe we should get those last two folks together?

Brush up on everything you wanted to know about sex but didn't know who to ask after the jump. You can thank us later.

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Ask Rachel & Claire (babeland.com)

Those Kegels seem to have worked too well. Whenever I have either an anal or vaginal toy inside me - or a partner - when I come, I push so hard, they go flying.

I bought anal beads and they flew against the wall. I bought the Tristan butt plug, and that shot to the footboard. Big and small toys alike have become vaginal cannonballs, and lovers have shouted "Don't push me out!" at the height of passion. What do I do?

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The Sexual Etiquette Guide (esquire.com)

After how many dates should I expect sex?

Sex will usually arrive on date three, most often by armored limousine and flanked by a large motorcade, or at least a police escort.

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Go Ask Alice! (goaskalice.columbia.edu)

I was wondering if it is possible to fracture or "break" my penis when it is erect. I have heard that it is possible and that it is painful.

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Miss Information (nerve.com)

I've been dating a guy for about three months. He constantly wants to go down on me, which I'm sure would be great news to a lot of women. But I've been having a strange problem. Every time he goes down on me, I get the urge to . . . well, fart. I can't get beyond three licks without sitting upright and pushing him away because I'm certain that I'm going to fart in his face.

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Savage Love (thestranger.com)

My wife accepts my crossdressing to the point of buying me dresses. But she does NOT want to participate in anal sex. Not me doing her, but her doing me--pegging. In this one area she is inflexible. I have assured her that I would empty myself beforehand. No dice. I have had to settle for using a dildo duct-taped to the shower wall to satisfy my needs. My wife is aware of this, but will not participate. Do you have any suggestions for me that may enable her to join me in the pleasuring of my ass?

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Sex Project Sex Questions (sex-project.com)

When cunnilingus get boring ...

I love using my tongue a bit too much I think. I used to give her 2-3 orgasm duing oral. She was loving it. However.. since a couple of months.. I seem to like it more that she does. I don't want to force her! When she seem interrested, I do it and get another 2-3 or more.. out of her.... but still she never asks for more.. and even worse.. she prefer not too. Not today... it's late.. have to get up early.. my back/head hurt.

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Andrea Nemerson's alt.sex.column (altsexcolumn.com)

My newish husband and I are madly in love. We're extremely experimental and we both love porn. We talk about everything and share a healthy sex life (five-plus times a week).

So, should I tell him I know he secretly jerks off after I leave for work, whether we have sex or not?

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Love Bites (eye.net)

My boyfriend is the best guy in the world but he can't fuck worth shit. It's over before I even know what's happening. I've been dealing with it the best I can, but I just can't take it anymore.

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Em & Lo (emandlo.com)

I've been dating this guy for about a month and found out that he's a virgin. I'm not. By far. I'm looking for tips and tricks on how to train him and introduce him to this in a good way that will make him a better person for some lucky woman down the road.

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Get Naked (timeout.com/newyork)

I am a 30-year-old male virgin. In the past, I've held out for the right girl, but she just hasn't come around. I've had a few chances and passed those up (for various reasons) and have never been in a long-term relationship ... Am I being too nice? Should I turn into a total jerk?

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Previously: Best of Sex Advice Archive