Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Memphis Monroe’s Vibrating Pussy And Ass

Recently, Hustler's Memphis Monroe allowed her parts to be engooped and a cast to be made from them. Then that cast was electrified and strategically empinkened (the preferred industry term) and sent to me. What wasn't sent to me was Monroe herself so that I could try a side by side comparison. This has always been a requirement for testing such products and I don't know why no one ever complies (cf. that six-foot model of Chewbacca I got from Mattel in 1977).

Regardless, as has always beeen Our Way, we try to make sense of things we don't actually stick our dicks in. Read our impressions of this Memphis Monroe Home Companion after the gap. - GP

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Just as is done with those delicious Aidell's Sausages at Costco, Hustler provides prospective customers with a tiny sample of Memphis' P & A to prod before buying the full product. The set is manufactured by Topco, the thoughtful and benevolent inventors of Cyberskin, who remind us that this replica, if not Monroe herself, is phthalate-free.

The VP&A is a solid, almost gooey mass that leaves one with a slight and not-unpleasant residue of chemicals after grasping its heft, unlike Monroe, who leaves the grasper smelling of peppermints and new-mown hay. I think the effect would be better if there were more of the replicant Monroe to grip, like if the package came with a little bit of torso or thigh. Luckily, we live in a post-pubic hair age, so there was no problem with figuring out nether locks (also the preferred industry term).

The VP&A weighs about five pounds, which is exactly how much they weigh on the real person, despite her appearance of wholesomeness and cornfeddery. Two little holes at the back provide room for thumbs or, if you'd like to mount your conquest like they did in "Angela's Ashes", wall studs.

Finally, the Cyberskin, like those mattresses they advertise on "A Prairie Home Companion", eventually conforms to one's own impressions. After several harsh squeezes, Memphis Monroe's Vibrating Pussy And Ass actually remembered me.

· Hustler

Pussy & Ass (topco.us)
· Hustler (hustler.com)

· See also: "Derby Day for Memphis Monroe" (gramponante.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive