With Wooden Dildos, The Tree Hugs You

The makers of the Jildo dildo are quick to point out—as well as they should—that despite what you may think, splinters are not an issue. Once that worry is out of the way, you can start to seriously consider adding a handmade wooden dildo to your sex toy cabinet. Sure, it doesn't light up or vibrate or sing your favorite songs to you, but it will give you that peaceful feeling that comes from getting "back to nature." People have been sticking wooden toys inside themselves for centuries, you know, and the Jildo is a simply throwback to those days of yore when just about any tree branch would do. They're unique, stylish and best of all, they never need batteries, which will come in quite handy after the collapse of the global economy leaves humanity scrounging for survival in darkened underground caves. When that day arrives, at least you'll have something to keep you busy.

· Jildos (woodpeckersroost.com)

Previously: Vortex Vibrations: Vacuuming Your Way To A Better Orgasm, Hot Hexadecimal Dildo Porn: Digg This!, OhMiBod's BodiTalk: Reach Out And Fuck Someone, How To: Recycle Your Sex Toys, When Dildos Go Bad, 100,000 Years of Sex, Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive