Morning Wood: Ugly American Alert

· Nell McAndrew celebrates the end of the European football (sorry, soccer) season with a patriotic bikini show. You know, the sport really is more exciting than we Americans want to admit. (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

· Speaking of cultural differences, another American tourist ruins it for the rest of us by wandering around Germany naked and acting like he didn't know any better. Wow, we really can be obnoxious, can't we? (iol.co.za)

· "Disciplined" firefighters were "tied up" but still managed to "whip" the blaze into submission after a bondage parlor catches fire. Someone at that newspaper had a fun day at work. (theage.com.au)

· Are we crazy or are the new girls dishing about pubic hair in their very first week? We knew with a name like Jezebel that they had to be a little bit dirty. (Just don't muscle in on our turf!) (Jezebel)

· Conservatives think the porn industry is in bed with the MPAA. They'd probably find that amusing, if this story hadn't been given a NC-17 rating. (avn.com)

· Can working at a sex shop in Texas really get you registered as a sex offender? Only if you're doing it right, apparently. (familybadge.org)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives