Scentuelle: A Little Sniff’ll Do Ya

Forget sniffing your own (or a friend's) armpits for that extra hormonal boost to get you through the day, because the slightly creepy, sorta science-y Scentuelle patch has arrived. Apparently, it's the woman's answer to Viagra! It's randiness for your wrist! Currently available in the United Kingdom, Canada, South Africa, and the US, the strange little stick-on device doesn't produce a drug that goes into your bloodstream a la nicotine patches, but works instead like those scratch and sniff stickers you used to stick all over your Trapper Keeper ... except instead of just sitting there smelling like a banana split or strawberry shortcake, it makes you horny. You're supposed to sniff it a few times a day in order to "feel more sexually aware and open to romantic interludes"; if it actually works, we suggest buying up stock before addiction to this horny-making aroma sets in. Gawd knows we need all the help we can get. -AR

· Scentuelle Libido Patch (scentuellepatch.com)

Previously: Porn Vegas Dispatch: How To Avoid Shoulder Stink