Tonight begins a long weekend of barbecues, volleyball and, if you're especially lucky, sweaty debauchery in the shallow end of your boss' pool. Wicked Pictures is the largest purveyor of couples' porn to those consumers who like their smut hopeful, soft-edged, and easier than "Dirtpipe Milkshakes" to ask for at their local video store.
Stormy Daniels plays a woman just like you trying to make sense of relationships while burdened with a tiny frame from which jut massive spheroid breasts. Read our review of "The One" after the gap. - GP
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The One
Studio: Wicked
Director: Jonathan Morgan
Cast: Stormy Daniels, Brianna Love, Cassie Young, Delilah Strong, Katie Morgan, Kelly Kline, Nicole Sheridan, Sunny Lane, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, Mr. Pete, Randy Spears, Voodoo
Review by: - GP
A couple is visited by ghosts of relationships past in order to deal with their current boy/girl woes.
It's tough being Jen (Stormy Daniels), so starved for a relationship that she can't have meaningless sex with a guy without telling him she loves him. And it's tough for Dave (Voodoo), who, when Stormy tells him she loves him, runs out of the room.
Wicked's latest couples' flick, written by Daniels and directed by Jonathan Morgan, aims to deliver the elusive mainstream movie - but with sex - that other studios aspire to. The mood is light and the sex is positive. But can the story sustain it?
Out in the hallway, Dave bumps into ex-girlfriend Roxy (Sunny Lane), who guesses Jen's problem right off the bat.
"How can you love someone who obviously doesn't love herself? She's so insecure, she sticks bags of poisonous water into her chest to get men like you to justify her womanhood."
Daniels' script is festooned with fun lines like this, and sometimes the performers pull them off and sometimes they don't.
"I was just trying to find myself," Roxy says of a previous infidelity.
"In someone else's vagina?" asks Voodoo.
Jen and Dave are visited by several of their exes in the course of the movie, and the flashbacks depict what made them exes in the first place. Randy Spears, Delilah Strong, Nicole Sheridan, and Evan Stone cameo as particularly oily characters.
If the movie has great ambition but doesn't live up to it, is it still better than a movie that doesn't even bother with a story? Hard to tell, but the effort makes The One a winner. After all, there are boatloads of Hollywood movies featuring actors who can't wrap their mouths around their dialogue but who don't compensate by wrapping them around anything else.
My only problem with the movie is that it is lit murkily. Very few scenes take place in the daylight for such a sunny film. These pictures were all taken from the promotional stills rather than screengrabs, which were considerably darker.
The movie ends happily, with both principals realizing that it should be easy to say "I love you" to a porn star.
· Stormy Daniels (clubstormy.com)
· Wicked (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "The One" (gamelink.com)