Getting A Leg Up In Porn

September 4, 2007
DASHIELL

Do you want to join the ever-growing porn biz, but only know how to take advice from educational filmstrips that were created before you were born? Then be sure to watch "Getting A Leg Up In Porn," a documentary adventure that uses cheesy fake mustaches, all-knowing narration, and the latest 1970s technology to demonstrate how a young, naive farm girl can become a seasoned bukkake-taking professional. Actually, as authentic as this film looks, it was really the second-place winner at last year's HUMP festival, Seattle's best (and only) amateur porn contest. (Incidentally, you still have on week to enter the 2007 edition.) Even though entries are typically destroyed immediately after being screened, the filmmakers behind this gem knew it was too good to keep hidden. Unlike most of the faded films you were forced to watch in junior high health class, these lessons will last a lifetime.