Finally, Some New Pornstars To Get Excited About

March 18, 2009
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

After spanking the monkey, our favorite thing about porn is bad porn star names. So it makes us a little sad that these two hunks have fantastic names—though thankfully they have bodies to match.

First is new Lucas Entertainment exclusive Dimitri Romanov. We always say a porn name should tell us something about the star and about the image he wants to cultivate. Dimitri is perfect for this Russian native (just like Michael Lucas!) and Romanov, at least among more cultured viewers, will bring about images of opulent, Tsarist Russia. We can't wait to see this regal beauty in "Entrapment," Lucas' latest feature based on the recent shady arrests of gay men for public sex in New York. Looks like Romanov isn't just fit—he's "ripped from the headlines."

Speaking of crazy insane bodies, check out Titan's latest man Will Parker. Sure, it's not as evocative or memorable a name as some, but it's solid, sturdy, and all-American, which is the perfect moniker for this hunk of a guy. Titan ensures us that Parker, though only 22, is plenty piggy, we think a name that's as well-built as a Ford truck (and Parkers abs!) fits him just fine. His first movie will hit the shelves in May, and the load we crank out watching him will hit us in the eye about the same time.