Flag Fetishism: These Colors Don’t Run

So when you got up this morning, did you salute your flag like a good little patriot and maybe recite the Pledge of Allegiance to prove to anyone within earshot that you weren't planning to commit treason anytime soon? Then you are probably not a friend to "Dr." Rex Curry, a noted symbologist (you know, just like Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Load Code. Like many internet cranks, he's got a long list of grievances and enemies starting with the "perverted" laws and teachers who force elementary school students to "verbally fellate" the American flag each day. (You know, it is a little weird when you stop and think about it.)

According to Dr. Curry, this flag fetishism is directly related to swastikas, Nazis, mind control and (we're guessing) the erosion of our civil liberties. It's kind of hard to follow it all, but he does have plenty of visual examples to illustrate his point. Actually, we're not sure if porn babes enjoying their flag paraphernalia is a good thing or a bad thing for the good doctor (Yay, America! Boo, false idols?), but it has certainly made us think a lot harder about this issue. So hard that our brain now hurts, but we figured why not run the idea up the flag pole and see if anyone faps to it?

· "PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE PARAPHILIA, FLAG FETISHISM, FLAG DESECRATION & MASTURBATION, FLAG PORNOGRAPHY & PERVERSION" (rexcurry.net, via Blography)

Previously: Paulina Rubio's Mexican Flag Flap