Nina And Kylie Throw “The Perfect Orgy”

Nina Hartley is one of those people whose advice is pretty near infallible. So her DVD full of orgy tips (with apt help from Kylie Ireland: "That's what's great about these things—you never know who you're gonna see!") takes a scenario that might seem impossible to pull off and makes it seem that much more accessible.

Join us as we run down an abbreviated list of orgy Dos and Don'ts after the gap.

Hartley and Ireland emphasize that the "orgy of your preference" will not look like some "Hollywood producer's perverted fantasy". But remember, with Kylie and Nina's access to Porn Valley's Tastiest (such as Lorelei Lee, Adrianna Nicole, and Annette Schwarz), they've got a bit of an advantage as well. And what does "perverted" mean, anyway?

Kylie asks, just for the sake of argument, why a person would want to throw an orgy in the first place.

Nina explains the appeals of variety, exhibitionism, and voyeurism, and that sex as a couple with other couples can be a nutritious part of a delicious relationship. But both women stress that attending orgies for revenge or to "spice up" a failing relationship often hasten the breakup.

Already, there is more dialogue in the first fifteen minutes of this movie than most gonzo catalogues. Luckily Ireland and Hartley are dressed in comfortable clothes. Though it is very pleasant to look at Ireland and Hartley, the movie suffers from Talking Headism. A split-screen with Powerpoint slides would have been helpful for people skipping through, until the first mini-orgy, or "orgiette", takes place a ways into the movie.

Hartley explains that Orgies Are Fun.

"And if there's one thing nobody wants in an orgy," Hartley says, "it is a miserable, squabbling couple; one who wants to be there and the other who is just going along."

Still, Ireland outlines the three most important things to bring to any orgy (other than a nice gift for the host):

· Good Manners
· An Open Mind
· Impeccable Hygiene

A well-researched How To, "The Perfect Orgy" details who makes the rules, what voyeurs should do ("maintain the snack table"), why movie or drinking buddies might not be ideal guests, and why couples should check out other orgies before throwing their own. That, and the spectre of jealousy.

Hartley and Ireland emphasize that the first time anyone has sex can be unpredictable, so an orgy equals magnified unpredictability. For people with open minds (and good manners and impeccable hygiene), unpredictability can be fun.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)