Surely This Hottie Doesn’t Need To Masturbate. Something Must Be Wrong.

Tight bod. Check. Luscious cock. Check. Smooth eatable ass. Check. Killer apartment and entertainment center. Check. Makes good money. Check. So why isn't this image of perfection our husband? Our guess, he's a certifiable nutcase.

Seriously, burbsboi18 is one burning hunk of man. Why is he single? Does he beat up his boyfriends? He's got the perfect top boy dick. Why is it going unused? Is he afraid of male-on-male intimacy? He obviously loves objects shoved up his ass. Why isn't he bottoming? A real cock conjures up subconcious trauma? He's got enough DVDs and CDs to keep us happy for years. Why aren't we over there for movie night? Does he unreasonably hate us?

Burbsboi18 needs to seek therapy immediately. Can't he see we're destined for marriage? What makes him even more perfect is we're pretty darn sure the first several DVDs under the TV are the complete seasons of "The Golden Girls." *sigh*

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