This Hotty Is Going To Play James Dean In Extra-Gay New Biopic

August 31, 2010
CALAMITOUS

It's a well-known secret that every male heartthrob of 50s and 60s cinema basically cock-sucked his way to stardom. Now the hot dude from "The Gates" will play a super-sexy, super-queer James Dean in the upcoming biopic, "Joshua Tree 1951."

Like old Hollywood megastars Marlon Brando, Errol Flynn and Rock Hudson, Dean was a one of a number of young Hollywood stars in the 50's to sublimate his homosexuality for fame and fortune. Or he probably was, anyway. You can find any number of articles that argue effectively for these guys' secret homosexuality (like this one), but it's all just speculation now. This film offers up a fantasy look at the gay life of old Jimmy Dean-here's Jimmy sitting pensively by the pool and thinking of cock, here's Jimmy pushing away the girl who loves him while thinking of cock, here's Jimmy laying his head wistfully on his gay lover's shoulder and thinking of cock. If the trailer is anything to go by, then this film is going to be amazing and will furnish us with retro sex fantasies for months to come.