Gigantic Dicks Cause Dopey Face Syndrome

There's a new ailment making its kooky away around gay porn: the Dopey Face. What causes it: Abnormally large cocks. If normally good looking men are placed within an inch of a cock over 10 inches, it seems their faces involuntary contort into Jim Carrey at his mugging worst.

This bizarre phenomenon started on ItsGonnaHurt.com, predominately starring a fellow named Castro whose peen is bigger than a beer can—it's a whole frickin' keg. As can be seen, anyone who approaches suddenly gets a wide-eyed rubber face that may have been all the rage in the most ridiculous silent film comedies.

A recent NakedSword.com update only goes to show the syndrome is spreading. Size queens, take heed. Please view the dangers of the gargantuan cock. They turn otherwise normal men into dopey double takers. It's advantageous to stick to men with a cock size that is, er, easier to swallow.