Olympic Athlete Ashley McKenzie Suffers From Elephant Dick Syndrome

September 12, 2012
BRADFORD-MATTHEWS

We had our suspicions about what Ashley McKenzie was working with under his gym shorts, but nothing could prepare us for the unholy site of his lamp-post-sized dick flopping about on the UK's current season of Big Brother.

Watch in complete astonishment as the lean, English judo athlete walks around Big Brother's backyard, accompanied by his gigantic cock. We've seen some pretty epic show-mances in Big Brother's history, but nothing can compare to the love we'd feel for Ashley's third leg if we were placed in the privacy-free compound.

Oh, the things we would do with that beautiful cock. All we have to do now is sit back and wait for a crazed fan to screenshot him taking a shower on the live feeds. Okay, okay. We're the crazed fan that's going to do that. Just give us five minutes.