Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Two Predictions About The Size Of Your Cock

While "Keep your wiener cleaner" is an excellent motto, ask our 12-year-old selves about the last time we jerked off with soap or shampoo to know how potentially painful this gag gift is. Suggested for bachelor parties, what this novelty really says is, "I want to hurt your urethra." Not so with Lex Steele's Big Man XL Steel Cock Ring, however: what that says is, "I want to destroy your enemies."

Oddly enough, in the very same box we received an impressive and solid (not fragrant and water-soluble) item called the Lex Steele Big Man XL Steel Cock Ring, which looks like it can ably grip's junk (we tried it - it does) to secure the Space Shuttle's heat shield (we weren't allowed to test this theory, despite tempting NASA scientists with Dirtpipe Milkshakes).

It is clear from these comparison photos that Lex Steele thinks you have a bigger dick than the soap does. Now which product would you buy?

· Buy Stroke on a Rope (spencersonline.com)
· Buy the Lex Steele™ Big Man XL Steel Cock Ring (topcosales.us)