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You no longer need to waste time at Sunday School scouring the Bible for all those dirty passages about prostitutes and orgies and virginal daughters offered up to randy kings. "The Uncensored Bible" gets rid of all those long-winded "thou shalt nots" and just cuts right to the good stuff--which leaves you a lot more time for spilling your seed. (time.com + Amazon; thumb via theologian Jenna Haze)