No Full Metal Jacket (Or Pants) Required: “Barely Legal Boot Camp”

July 29, 2008
LANK

The striking thing about Hustler's "Barely Legal Boot Camp" is that drill instructor Darryl Hanah looks positively sex-grizzled in comparison with the likes of recruits Kortni Kiss, Jayden Rose, Bailey Brooks, and Arianna Armani, all of whom tumble out of a van to be shrieked at by director/itinerant preacher Rod Fontana. We see a group of 18-year-olds perfectly suited to be stoop-shouldered and eye-rolling in the face of the porn narrative structure that some of them will never perfect.

After all this time, it would be reasonable to expect that the movie would not follow through on the premise suggested by its title and cover, but Fontana demands the recruits show him IDs ("Don't give me your real names! Give me the names your agents gave you!") and when they drop to give him 20, it is with a dildo.

The movie ended up being a mini-"Gilligan's Island XXX" prequel, as Fontana, Hanah, and Dick Nasty each appear. Earlier, a performer named Miss Kitty was hounded off the set for refusing to service the 53-year-old Nasty. Hanah, the professional, showed the almost-half-her-age recruits how it was done. "Always make sure your hand is wet," she said.

The girls are led through blowjob drills, taught how to pose for still cameras, given pointers on "facial preparation," and told that "there are men and women dying for that flag in order for you to work in pornos." (The latter seems like a generational thing - when performers who remember when porn was illegal are paired with performers who don't, the result can be awkward.)

The movie sticks to its premise all the way through, and as such is often at odds with standard porn formula. This isn't a bad thing, though; it just throws off the pacing if you are, for instance, a chronic masturbator.