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The Weekly Mindfuck: Can Virtual Reality Porn Get Too, Well… Realistic?

EDITORIAL FEATURES

 

 

If you asked me what my thesis was about the birth, the beauty, and the brainwashing potential of virtual reality porn, it would be this: Humans are inherently selfish creatures.

Don't get me wrong - I think VR porn is an exciting new frontier, a more immersive way for people to explore their sexualities and fantasies. But like any other new emerging technology, it's also a bit dangerous if not developed with caution; and let's be honest. Who's going to do that? 

In the big, bad, beautiful world of sex, we often forget to create psychological distinctions between entertainment and reality. Porn is entertainment, just like movies and books. Sex is something you share with yourself or another sentient person with thoughts, feelings, opinions, and desires. The biggest difference between the two, if it's not obvious already, is that your choice in entertainment need only be compelling and enjoyable for you. Partnered sex, on the other hand, demands a lust that is equally balanced by selflessness. Good sex with someone else requires that both people understand it is a shared experience, that both people are placing as much concern on another person's pain and pleasure as they are their own.

But many people don't want to do that.

A recent study from Newcastle University used something called the story completion method to map out potential consequences for VR porn - and though far from perfect, it did highlight a few of the nasty side effects we made find cropping up. 

"We grouped the stories into two,” says Wood. “The first group was what we called the ‘perfect’ scenario - some were lavish and fantastical, others were quite close to reality, but all of them were the perfect sexual experience, described by our participants as ‘better than the real thing'."

It's a predictable but problematic issue. Not only does this create unattainable standards for all genders, but it also illustrates a very broken idea of what good sex is. How, for example, can a sexual experience with someone you have no real intimacy with, no real touch, taste, smell, or exchange of satisfaction be better than a truly mutual interaction? Even when sex is casual, the "we" aspect is often what makes it such a gratifying exchange. There's the whole issue of consent, too: 

“Our research highlighted not only a drive for perfection, but also a crossover between reality and fantasy. Some of our findings highlighted the potential for creating 3D models of real life people, raising questions over what consent means in VR experiences. If a user created a VR version of their real life girlfriend, for example, would they do things to her that they knew she would refuse in the real world?

We're not quite at that frontier yet (phew!) but it poses an equally important question. If my partner can create "me" as a VR partner, but engineer the experience in a way that would be more ideal for him, that would be incredibly hurtful. On the other hand, if he's on vacation and missing me and decides to have virtual sex with me, it's incredibly flattering. But what if someone made a virtual reality version of me and then posted it to Pornhub?! It's messy and complex - and hopefully it does far more good than harm.

Lastly, there's the whole issue of violence and degradation. In a consensual BDSM scenario, this kind of play would be super sexy and awesome in a porno. But what about when it's not? If guys everywhere are getting their kicks to forceful scenes in a VR format more than the "casual observer" format, are they more likely to adopt that behavior in their real sex lives? I truly don't know. With high-quality, thoughtful content, I don't think it would be an issue at all. What kind will be developed, though? 

Lest you think I'm bashing VR, there are numerous awesome pros as well: Getting to try same sex or opposite sex experiences if you haven't, experimenting with new kinks you'd like to try with your partner, a little TLC on those lonely, cold nights when you can't even convince yourself to start swiping on a dating app.

Amarna Miller is my fave. 
But consider it this way: Your VR partner is one performing fantastical sex acts that are all about you. Your VR partner is not someone you have to care about, consider, listen to, comfort, or even get off. That wouldn't be a bad thing if it wasn't a reflection of the inherently selfish way our culture has gamified getting laid. We'd be wise to remember - or in many cases, relearn - that there's no I in sex. 

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