Behind Closed Doors: When Is Sex Work Exploitive?

Man, I love me some Ted Talks. I know there are people who dislike learning information that contradicts their current beliefs, but I can't get enough of it. My favorite topic is, of course, sex - and often sex work. The definition of sex work is ambiguous at best, but in this day and age, we consider it performing any kind of sex act in exchange for money, also known at the commodification of sex. That means prostitution, yes, but it also means porn and camming. All three are vastly different professions, and all three provide us with a list of seemingly contradictory realities: 

1. Some women absolutely love performing in porn and enjoy the sexual exploration and freedom it allows them.
2. Some women are exploited, particularly as amateurs, and particularly when they are very young and unsure of their futures.
3. Porn is inclusive, engaging, instructional, sexy, and empowering for all genders.
4. Porn is racist and sexist, often reinforcing damaging stereotypes to assuage the consumer.
5. Porn is safe, well-regulated, and bolstered by an amazing sex-positive community.
6. When filmed by the wrong people, porn is dangerous and violent.

You can replace "porn" with "escorting" and "camming" in the above list. In fact, those contradictions are found in their own ways in almost any industry, from music to acting to marketing and engineering. It's difficult to have any kind of constructive conversation on the subject, because everyone feels as if they must occupy one camp: In support of sex work, or against it. Nothing in between. 

That's what's so compelling about this particular Ted Talk - it's an excerpt from Tony Award-winning Sarah Jones's play "Sell/Buy/Date", an unflinching and unobstructed look at the nature of sex work in all its facets. Perhaps what is so refreshing about it is that Sarah traveled the world, talking to escorts, before developing her compelling cast of characters who each offer a different perspective. The only mention of porn is with her first depiction and is otherwise left out of the narrative, leaving the focus predominately on escorting, but there is something to be gleaned for all kinds of sex work from the body of work. 

Image via TED.com

If you listen closely, some of her characters lament their time doing sex work, referring to difficult childhoods, early exposure, and not having the freedom and security to try out different paths to self-actualize. She calls these "prescribed" roles - roles that are assigned, not chosen. You've undoubtedly heard the argument before: "If a woman chooses to do this with her body," it isn't exploitive. And it's true, that does not meet the definition of exploitive at all. As we learn with consent, though, choice is a funny, fuzzy concept. A woman may choose something because it is her best option for being paid and supporting herself, like one of Sarah's characters. But would she still choose the same profession if another lucrative, flexible position were available to her? Do we still consider that "choice"? 

That's the important question, I believe, for all of us when determining what is exploitive and what is expressive: Not just "Do we choose jobs in the adult industry because we are passionate about them?" but also "Do we choose these jobs just because they pay well, or because we feel like our options toward financial freedom are too limited otherwise?" For many of the incredible and inspiring performers I have met, the answer to both questions is a resounding yes - but not all.  

It's notable that Sarah's main focus in her play is prostitution, which I believe is even more nuanced that pornography and deserves a separate label, simply because they are so fundamentally different. The message, like my list above, can work for both, though.  

Every complicated question holds an unfortunate truth for your belief system, regardless of how you feel about any kind of sex work. It's sometimes exploitive, and its regulation cannot fix that. After all, theft may be illegal, but stores are still robbed all the time. To criminalize escorting or porn, on the flip side, will not eradicate either - it simply makes them significantly less safe, as we see with escorting now, often drastically raising the number of exploitive and dangerous encounters women have. After all, if robbery was never spoken of and we made no laws against it, we would see a massive theft increase.  

Sex work is always going to exist, and it will never be flawless. To approach that reality head-on, armed with the intention to do the most real, viable good possible is the bravest course of action for both sex workers and consumers. It's the bravest way to approach any complicated matter, because it means you're willing to understand the repercussions of any action you take, even if it means broadening your focus and accepting that our beliefs can sometimes hurt other people when we stick to them too rigidly.

To give people the freedom to choose their own path in life is crucial, but so is ensuring they won't be given one against their will. Realistically, trying to wipe porn from the Internet and keep sex work illegal will do far more harm than good, it's been proven - but so will not creating regulations and failing to use an ethical code while you consume sex work. Perhaps "Is sex work empowering or exploitive?" is the wrong question. Perhaps instead, we should flip the question back on those of us who interact with it, whether that's through consumption or creating laws and regulations that control it:

Are we enabling sex workers to choose roles that resonate with their own passions in life, whether that is sex work or something entirely different? That, friends, is what I think our concern should be.