Only in Florida: Is That a Giant Penis or Are You Happy to Get Mail?

What Son Doesn't Want to Give His Mother a Giant Wooden Penis Mailbox?

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

Finding the perfect gift for the woman who gave birth to you can be quite the challenge. What store bought token of appreciation really says "Thank You" for giving me life, feeding me, taking care of me, and raising me right? No piece of jewelry, no dozen roses, and no novelty T-shirt that proclaims "World's Greatest Mom" will ever truly honor your mother the way she is meant to be honored. That is why one Florida man decided to make his mother the best gift ever: a giant wooden penis mailbox.

Danny Duncan of Englewood, Florida has proved he is the greatest son in all of the Florida by presenting his mother with this one of kind gift. And what son doesn't want to give his mother a giant piece of wood shaped like a penis? Needless to say, Mrs. Duncan was a little surprised by her wonderful, thoughtful, gift from the heart.

"I just told her that I had a surprise for her," said Duncan to Fox 4.

"I thought I was getting a Harley or a car, and that's what I got," said his mother, Sue.

Since you are curious, the wooden penis stands over six feet tall and weighs over 500 pounds. Of course that means Mr. Duncan would have to get help from some friends to install the giant wooden penis mailbox. I really want to know how that conversation went down...

DANNY: Hey, you free tonight? I need your help with something I got for my mom.

FRIEND: Sure. What is it?

DANNY: A giant wooden penis mailbox.

FRIEND: What?

DANNY: Yeah, I saw this giant wooden penis and thought my mom would love it.

FRIEND: ...

DANNY: Be at my house around 8!

And believe it or not, some of the Duncan's neighbors aren't the biggest fan of the giant wooden penis mailbox. Honestly, I'm not surprised, when you buy the perfect gift for you mom and see the happiness her face, others can't help but be jealous. Now all that's left to wonder is when Danny moves out and gets his own place will his mom get him a 6-foot wooden vagina mailbox.

Via Orlando Weekly