If Sears Used Emily Sears In Lingerie As Their Spokesperson Business Would Boom

Emily Sears Cleavage Could Totally Help Sell Lawnmowers

Sears is a department store that probably many of us had to go with one of parents at some point in our lives to look at washer and dryers, lawn mowers, or some other random home appliance. They used to be one of the biggest department stores, but recently they’ve been struggling. I think Sears’ main problem is they don’t have Emily Sears as their spokesperson.  

I mean, this is really a no brainer and I honestly can’t believe the bigwigs at the corporate office haven’t already figured this one out. All you need to do is plaster a giant image of Emily Sears in lingerie on the side of every single Sears store and then fill the store with more pictures of Emily Sears and her cleavage on the side of washing machines, Emily Sears and her cleavage pushing lawnmowers, Emily Sears in a matching bra and panties set opening the door of a refrigerator, hell just pictures of Emily Sears covering every floor, wall, ceiling, and any other open surface. I can safely say that Sears sales and stock will grow through the roof! Then when business picks up you can have Emily Sears in lingerie cut the ribbon at every new store. With a year I bet Sears would not only become the #1 department store in the USA, but in the whole entire world.

I’m telling you, Sears using Emily Sears in sexy lingerie is a golden ticket. JC Penny and Macy’s should try and convince some supermodels to change their names for the same reason.