Sexplorations with Colette: What Would Make Sex Even Better?

During one of my more interesting conversations recently, we got onto the subject of skydiving. Or, to be more specific, we got onto the subject of how skydiving feels, since making the jump still sits unchecked on my bucket list. There were many things I probably anticipated reading while I watched the grey ellipses on my phone screen pulsate—maybe that it's a euphoric experience, a rush better than drugs—but the next blue bubble took me entirely by surprise. I should have known. 

"The feeling after—not to be too raunchy—it's the best sex you'll ever have." No one could see my reaction, but I cocked my head to the side all the same. The sequence is one that might have happened to me by accident one day (celebratory sex is a thing, after all), but I'd never considered intentionally stringing them together with the intent of making sex better. When he said it, though, I realized how incredibly true it probably was.

Combining activities to maximize them is one of my favorite things to do (because why not?), so after sliding "skydiving + sex" to the top of my to-do list, I tried to dig a little deeper. If jumping out a plane can make sex afterward more explosive, other stuff probably can too, right? I'm no scientist, but the idea seemed way too fun to pass up. I started doing my research, as every good writer should, and spoke with a neuroscientist friend of mine to see if I could extrapolate on this incredibly useful life hack. And guess what? 

I can. 

Your brain on sex  

Before we dive into the best pre-sex adventures, we need to understand what happens to our brains when we're doing the no-pants dance all by itself. I'll keep it pretty simple, because no one here wants a biology lesson: Adrenaline and endorphins are the major players during sex, with dopamine in on the fun because it's awesome like that. (There are other hormones involved of course, but they don't create the state of euphoria I'm trying to nail down.)

When you start getting it on, adrenaline is first to the party, amping up your blood flow and circulatory system and making you excited as hell. Endorphins are released next, and dopamine binds to receptors in your brain. The longer the duration of the stimuli, the more neurotransmitters are released and bind to those receptors. The grand finale of the whole shebang is obviously orgasm, which is why many people say that getting your rocks off is the closest you come to Nirvana. But now I'm rambling. What were we talking about? Ah, yes. Skydiving. 

The perfect storm 

This is where everything gets fun. Let's say you could take the natural high you get when you're having sex and magnify it by a lot. You would probably do it, right? Yes, good. OK. To get to that place, you'll need to think a little outside the box—as in, you have to consider what your hormones and neurotransmitters are doing when you're not fucking and how you can manipulate them to work to your advantage.   

While I will absolutely never refute the power of a great orgasm, it's not the only activity that gives you a natural high. When you look at your hormonal response to adventure sports like skydiving, you see it's incredibly similar to sex—the degrees of intensity may vary, but it's pretty much the same sequence. The connection is actually fascinating, and it explains why so many of us are drawn to activities that put us on the edge—the adrenaline comes first when you do something thrilling, followed by the dopamine and endorphins. Your muscles start to respirate faster, your senses are heightened, and the cocktail of chemicals in your brain make you want to EXPLODE. The whole experience, whichever thrill you choose, gives you an afterglow like the one you have after an orgasm (except stronger). Having sex during this afterglow, then, is essentially like having sex high. 

This is where the science gets a little tricky, so I consulted my neuroscientist friend. I was a little confused—do the neurotransmitters layer, so to speak, when you follow something like skydiving with sex? I could paraphrase the answer, but I would certainly fuck that up, so here it is in all its glory:

"The neurotransmitters don't necessarily 'layer,' but if the emotional state is prolonged, the same increase in neurotransmitter release and reuptake is present, and remembering the event will easily trigger the process to start again. And yes, increased stimulation would yield higher levels of specific neurotransmitters."

Wait . . . what?

"OK, so being reminded of a specific stimuli will produce similar neural activity. It makes everything more intense and active, psychologically and neurologically, especially if the 'thrill' was a shared experience. (Pause.) It's like a flashlight—when you press the button longer, the light doesn't get more intense, it just stays on longer."

Ah! I get it! Combine that change in your emotional state with the power of intimacy, and boom. Explosive sex. (Fun fact: People who participate in extreme sports actually change the makeup of their brains over time, allowing more dopamine to be present inside and outside the synapses. Mind. Blown.)

The possibilities would theoretically be endless: Anything that gives you that hormonal response would make for better sex, both immediately and and over time. I sought out to rank activities you could choose to participate in based on how intense this hormonal reaction would be, but the little buggers are complicated. You can't really quantify that kind of response, but there's one thing we can safely assume: The more thrilling the activity and the longer it lasts, the more adrenaline (and dopamine) is released. I decided to go with that. Let's start at the top, shall we? 

BASE jumping

OK, so we're starting with the most extreme thing possible. No need to get discouraged if you don't want to jump off a skyscraper in a wing suit. There are activities for you here, I promise. 

Skydiving

Skydiving is the focal point of most of the research out there about extreme sports and endorphins, so this one obviously makes the top of the list. And, you know, I know someone who would personally back this up. (Note: Don't have sex while you're skydiving. That's generally frowned upon.)

Running of the Bulls in Spain

So. Not everyone's cup of tea.

Cliff jumping

Ah, a sport where you can start small and build up.  

Hang gliding

As it turns out, heights are really good for your sex life. Did anyone else know this?

Waterfall kayaking

I didn't even know this was a thing, but there you are. 

White water rafting 

Sorry, guys. "Floating the river" does not count, though I appreciate your effort and raise you a cold Bud Lite. 

Cage diving

Being locked in a cage while massive sharks circle sounds like fun to me, but I understand how immensely strange that is. Other kinds of scuba diving qualify, too—like deep ocean, wreck, cave, or ice diving (or, you know, being surrounded by sharks outside a cage).

Additional note: Having sex after scuba diving means you can have sex on a boat, which is conveniently another item on my bucket list.

Zorbing 

Yeah, no. 

Surfing 

Damn, is there anything surfing isn't good for?! 

Parkour

Skiing, snowboarding, waterskiing, and wakeboarding

Bonus points for heliskiing. And, er, kneeboarding. Because that seems hard. 

Mountain biking

Just try not to bruise your ass too badly. I've done it, and I know for a fact it's not sexy. 

Rock climbing

Another activity I've been doing wrong all these years.  

Roller coasters

Yeah, even roller coasters qualify. That's accessible as hell. 

Paintballing

I went paintballing over a month ago, and I still have a blue-ringed bruise from it. Still not opposed.

Fights and/or grievous injuries 

OK, I mean, we could do this, or we could not do this. 

Sex

Yes, my friends. Having sex before you have more sex was already a good idea, and now there is Science to prove that the second (and third, and fourth) rounds are frequently better than the first. Er, as long as somebody has lube. 

Dancing

Need I say more?

Chocolate and spicy peppers

Because sometimes you don't feel like moving. 

Massages

Alright, so this one was a given. 

One thing to keep in mind: It turns out that too ODing on endorphins can actually kill your sex drive, so I wouldn't recommend trying to combine ALL of these into the most epic day ever—you will pass out before you can even peel your clothes off. (That, and you can't ride in airplanes right after you scuba dive or your blood will quite literally fizz. Talk about a buzzkill.)

Adventure foreplay

You obviously don't have to go ice diving to make this work for you, but the takeaway is pretty poignant: Doing exciting, thrilling things improves your sex life, which in turn makes you a happier human. It gets better, too; beyond great boning, research says that people who participate in adventure sports are generally more awesome (a very technical, scientific word) because they're more equipped to handle major fears and become way more self confident in the process. And that, my friends, is incredibly sexy.