The Odds That You’ve Fucked Your Cousin Are Better Than The Odds You’ll End Up In Prison

I know what you're thinking when you read a headline like that... Tucker, that's a tad misleading. Surely the large number of people in the deep South that bang their cousins on the regular lessens the odds that I, the enlightened, entitled northerner will surely never do so. Well, to you, good sir, I say that statistics are always exaggerated to prove a point, and furthermore, go fuck yourself. 

Indeed, according to a new study by AncestryDNA in Britain, the odds that you may have accidentally slept with your cousin are 1 in 30. That means it's actually more likely that you've slept with your cousin than the 1 in 31 odds that you're either in prison, on parole, or on probation. I would also love to see the Venn Diagram of overlap between those two. I'm willing to bet it's just one big circle.

You've got to meet a certain number of requirements to get to the 1 in 30 odds, but they're not far-fetched odds...

Taking into account that most of us will have roughly 10 sexual partners in our lives (it’s 11.7 for men), across Britain’s population there’s roughly a one in 30 chance that you have bumped uglies with your cousin.

The reason is how interwoven family histories in Britain actually are – meaning that people who are our ‘cousins’, genetically speaking, are all around us.

“It’s incredible to think that many of us will be in daily contact with unknown relatives – with no idea that we share much more than the same sporting team or commute to work,” said Brad Argent, commercial director of AncestryDNA.

So rest easy America, we're not quite on the verge of being cousin fuckers... yet. 

Via Metro