The Answer To The Age Old Question “Can You Bottle Sadness?” Is Yes

"I was always driven to sculpt females" might be my favorite thing ever uttered by a human being, and it's uttered roughly 70 seconds into this video about talking sex dolls. Imagine if you took Lars and the Real Girl, crossed it with Her, and then infused it with a literal 55-gallon drum's worth of sadness and you might have some vague conception of what we're dealing with here.

The New York Times (link below) has finally gotten around to covering the world of real dolls, and their creator Matt McMullen's quest to take the real doll to the next level, by infusing it with a personality. Right around the two minute mark, the doll seems to go on the fritz while very nearly reciting the lyrics to "Touch Me" from the musical Spring Awakening, and all your nightmares will come to a vivid life you've only huddled in the corner and wept about. 

I guess we're all supposed to ooo and ahh over the technological breakthrough on display here, but I continue to be amazed by the lengths to which human beings go to avoid interacting with one another. Is this really what it's come to? If science fiction has taught us nothing else, it's that trying to recreate human interaction through machinery leads to sentience which leads to the gnashing of teeth which leads to judgment day. I really appreciate the dedication on display here, but it's like watching someone trying to fuck a doorknob. You've got to hand it to them for being committed to a cause, but it's impossible not to feel a twinge of sadness for the human race while doing so.

Don't be surprised to find out that Matt McMullen rebrands his company Skynet.

Via The New York Times